Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron!
–Clinton Street
Overheard by: nappytee
Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron!
–Clinton Street
Overheard by: nappytee
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions!
–FIT
Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework!
–46th between 7th & 8th
Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Kristin
Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm.
–Slainte, 1st & Bowery
Overheard by: Genevieve
Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age.
–Columbia University Medical Center
Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong.
–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU
Overheard by: The King Adrock
Hipster girl: Rough butt sex.
Hipster guy: But that's what it would've smelled like anyway.
–St. Mark's Place
Man #1: This subway smells like citrus fruit.
Man #2: Yeah, Mr. Lemonhead got killed here.
Woman: I peed on his face once.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Very drunk suit: Hey, bartender! Do you know what a car bomb is?
Irish bartender: Yes, it’s Spanish for, ‘you’re an asshole.’
–3rd Ave
Security Guard: …and so now I have her DNA and I can, like, reproduce her any time I want.
–57th & West End
Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Drunk: Are you going to San Francisco?…Hey, I’ve been there! Why won’t you believe me? Look at this tattoo I got there!…Shut up, bitch!
–LIRR
Overheard by: marissa
Woman: So did you know that cheese has the same chemicals as heroin in it? That’s why people who eat cheese get so addicted to it.
–1st Avenue & 4th Street
Overheard by: alison
Suit on cell: I swear, I’m going to make her the sorriest crippled girl in New York.
–Avenue C
Hipster on iPhone: Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone.
–6th & 27th
Hipster girl to out-of-town friend: Sorry about the smell, this area just recently gentrified.
–Orchard Street b/w Broome & Grand
Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each other’s minds -we can’t read each other’s minds! So when you do something I don’t like and I tell you and then later you do something I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sorries in one day! And "sorry" is just a word, but you’re learning about me! About my mind.
–Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: rpk
Woman on cell: Oh sorry, I have to go. Remember that woman that got pregnant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran into her.
–Astor Place
Dominican to friend: And just wait until I tell them all he’s Dominican… he’ll really be sorry then!
–5th Ave, near Empire State Building
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Boy: I didn’t know you were a serial killer!
Man: I’m not a serial killer! I am your father!
–St. Mark’s, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Irish Eyes
Guy: Can I get a Sparkling Mango?
His GF stares at him.
Guy: I’m very secure with my sexuality. And after making you come so sweetly–twice!–you should be too.
–Schiller’s, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Idan
