Manhattan

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Station

Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: erlinflask

Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.

–Ave A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Nathan

Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clinton St

Overheard by: Evan

Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off!

–A train

Overheard by: The Law Professor

Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons!

–N train

Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before.

–Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

Girl #1: Is that a real fur coat?
Girl #2: Yes, oh my god and this woman started yelling at me this morning. I was like, “Please don’t throw blood on me or something. I don’t hate animals; I have a dog!”
Man: Not around your neck.

–Elevator, Broadway & Dey

White guy #1: Ready, I’magonna freestyle.
White guy #2: Bullshit, dawg.
White guy #1: Oooh girl dat ass is big and round and I like to hit it on the ground —
Passing black male: Give it up, cracker.
White guy #2: You gotta listen to me. Like the time with the syphilis, man, shit.

–51st & 9th

Overheard by: Lauren Michelle

Chick: I don’t never know where you at.
Guy: Aw, baby, I always tell you where I at.
Chick: Oh no, you don’t. In fact, I still don’t know where you at yesterday.
Guy: Well…I don’t always know where you at neither.
Chick: Oh yes, you do. I always tell you where I at.
Guy: Nuh uh. I don’t never know where you at till you get home from there.

–WTC PATH station

Overheard by: Meredith

Chick #1: Is that George W. Bush?
Chick #2: Really? Where?
Chick #1: Oh no, wait. It’s Mayor Bloomberg.
Chick #2: I was gonna say, that would be a step up for him!

–Nederlander Theatre, W41st

Overheard by: Dani B

Snappy white woman from Long Island to group of noisy black kids with a baby carriage: When are you guys getting off this bus? I need to know when. Just tell me what stop you’re getting off at so I can decide whether I need to catch another one.

The baby’s mother has her breast out and is squeezing and batting it around, a look of glee on her face. The baby is fast asleep in the stroller.

Mother: Look, milk comin’ out of it!!
Long Island woman: Seriously, when are you getting off?

–M15 bus downtown

Overheard by: hannah g

Guy #1: Which one did you make out with?
Guy #2: I dunno, I can’t tell the difference. Whichever one is Jessica.

–Pearl’s, Amsterdam Avenue

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Chick: Why doesn’t anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: …Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn’t it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you’ve got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: “It’s for you!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Chloe Amara

Girl on cell: Well you know, when in Rome. Who said that, was it Jesus? I think it was Jesus.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Nathalie

Guy #1: Jesus Christ! Michael Stipe has a big fucking head.
Guy #2: I was thinking about walking up and talking to him, for the simple reason that I haven’t liked him for so many years.

–The Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: El Cubano