Very little black kid, anxiously standing in line: Mommy, why can't I get dessert?
Mother: Why don't you get a job, nigga?
–KFC
Very little black kid, anxiously standing in line: Mommy, why can't I get dessert?
Mother: Why don't you get a job, nigga?
–KFC
Daughter: I'm just thinking out loud.
Mother: Well, don't. Keep it in your head.
Daughter: But mom, it's the only way I can include you in my thoughts.
Mother: That's okay.
Daughter: But mom, don't you want to be smart?
Mother: No, I'm okay the way I am.
–Kew Gardens Road & Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Laura
Mom to little girl punching her in the butt on their way out of the bank: Don't you hit me! What's wrong with you?
Girl, whining: But I want my own money.
Mom: Well, you don't have a checking account now, do you?
–56th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Nikki G
Mom, reading magazine: You heard of Twilight? Is it good?
Kid: Dunno. I don't think you'd like it. It's got kissing. And vampires.
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: Quack
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it.
–116th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sully
Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me!
–89th St
Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Mark
Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively!
–Starbucks
Mom: So Good Luck Chuck kind of sucked, huh?
Teenage daughter: Well, what did they expect? It's Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, for crying out loud! That's bad luck!
–Tomoe Sushi
Overheard by: Sromeo
Little boy: The Russians eat brains?
Mom, looking at cookbook: This is a French cookbook.
Little boy: The french eat brains?!
Mom: Not human brains. Animals'.
Little boy: That's disgusting!
Mom: Yes, it's very high in cholesterol.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Little girl #1 to family: I'm going to be 30 when I have my first baby!
Mom: You know, you can have one earlier.
Little girl #2: I'm going to be 29!
–Tea & Sympathy
Overheard by: Not Preggers
