Woman getting haircut: So it all began when I was dating an Italian underwear model…
Hairdresser (after a short pause): Yes?
Woman: He was the worst fuck of my life!
–Institu Salon, 19th & Irving
Woman getting haircut: So it all began when I was dating an Italian underwear model…
Hairdresser (after a short pause): Yes?
Woman: He was the worst fuck of my life!
–Institu Salon, 19th & Irving
Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.
–23rd & Lexington
Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.
–Grand Central Terminal
Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!
–28th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Jar Aaron
20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.
–Herkimer St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: M. Fresh
Girl: I didn’t know my brother was going to be at the party! And he was in a sarong!
–Park Ave S & E 25th
Guy on cell: No, no. You can wear hats on the internet.
–Smith & Wyckoff, Cobble Hill
Man eating brunch to male friend: We both came out seven years ago. We are puppy gay in dog years.
–Big Daddy’s Diner
Overheard by: Morgan
Very loving mom talking to daughter about her son: Hey! He is not an animal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not today!
–Hell’s Kitchen
Outraged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the furnace, Ted!
–Court Street
Chick with cigarette, on cell: … Leathery fetish dog-masks, or just Halloween style dog-masks?
–Outside Tagine, 40th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Philosophical suit: The only reason I haven’t divorced my wife is because of the dog.
–Upper East Side
Guy #1: Damn that girl is fine. I’d give my left nut to get her a night.
Guy #2: Dude, why your left nut?
Guy #1: Because it’s attached directly to your heart.
Guy #2: Oh my god, what bio class have you been taking?
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Kiuu SMith
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
Woman #1: I heard your son started going to my son’s doctor.
Woman #2: Yeah, he has a great bedside manner… And he has a handlebar mustache, too, haha.
Woman #1: Yeah, so does my gyno.
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jeffrey G.
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
Mom pushing stroller: … And how do you spell ‘Loch Ness’?
Four-year-old boy: L, um… L-O, um… um… L-O-C-H-N-E-S-S
–17th St & Irving Pl
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
