Bartender to 20-something man: What's your name? I'll start a tab.
20-something man: Oliver.
Old man at bar: Oliver Twist… People ever call you Oliver Twist? (laughs)
20-something man: Old people always do. Newer people don't.
–Pizzaria, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: kat
Girl to guy with “free hugs” sign: Do you know Mary Jane?
“Free hugs” guy: Girl, you have come to the right delicious man!
–Union Square
Overheard by: ashevillian
Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!
–Starbucks, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine Wallace
Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”
–Coming Out of UWS Bar
Overheard by: That's cold
Girl #1: Yeah, he knows Dick Clark.
Girl #2: You mean the ex President?
Girl #1: Lol! No!
–Office, Madison Ave & 49th St
Customer: So, what casino did you go to?
Clerk: The Taj Mahell.
–Smoke Shop, East Village
Overheard by: Evan
20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience.
–LIRR
Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Kishan
FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this.
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza
Overheard by: Rob
Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right?
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Dani Cakes
Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government.
–City College
Overheard by: Stephen
Dad: It stars Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: More like Win Diesel!
Dad: Winn Dixie?
Teen daughter: Because of Vin Dixie?
Dad: Because of Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: I think you broke my brain, dad.
–Grand Central
Girl to friend: I think her name's Elizabeth.
Friend: My friend's name is Elizabeth! She's a twin.
Girl: Is she? What's that word for “identical”?
Friend: Yeah… “fraternal.”
Girl: Yeah, everyone is named Elizabeth.
–47th St & 3rd Ave
Guy: There are actually a lot of Chinese-run Mexican restaurants popping up now.
Girl: What do they call them? “Double happiness taco”?
–Grand & Driggs
Overheard by: Claire
