Little boy, excitedly: Can we go to Chelsea Piers again?!
Mom: No. That would require having money.
–11th & Ave B
Little boy, excitedly: Can we go to Chelsea Piers again?!
Mom: No. That would require having money.
–11th & Ave B
Woman on Bluetooth: How’s the weather like in your New York?
–33rd & Broadway
Old lady: Geez! Man! It is really cold here! [Looks at other lady] This is why I live in Brooklyn!
–96th & Broadway
Brit tourist to another: Eeee, I knew it were gonna be cold, but I forgot we’d have to, like, go outside.
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Chick on cell: Why can’t you pick me up, Dad? … I don’t want to wait for the bus — it’s too cold out… Okay, thanks. See you later. [Hangs up phone.] Asshole.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Overheard by: Sternie
Queer hipster: It’s gonna be cold this weekend. Like, negative four or negative zero.
–Essex Restaurant, LES
Pilot: Welcome aboard our plane this afternoon, with direct service to Atlanta. The current weather in Atlanta is actually colder than it is here, so it sucks to be you.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: jaybrrd
JAP getting off at Berkeley Heights: I was getting anxious about getting anxious! It was like I had anxiety about getting anxiety! What? No, the pills aren’t for that. Shut up, Mom! I’ll call you later.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: embarrassed to live in jersey
JAP on cell: You know, it just goes to show you how sensitive we’ve become in this country to sexual misconduct and sexual… Sexual… What’s the word? Being sued.
–116th & Broadway
JAP on cell: … And then I totally just, like, bought it at Bergdorf’s… No, no! Not Bloomingdale’s — Bergdorf’s! You know, as in Bergdorf Cohen’s?
–serendipipty
Blonde JAP: Like, this is totally tighter than my colonoscopy. Ugh!
–Crowded A train
JAP on cell: Oh, that guy? I think he lost interest in me. One day I said something about how all the girls on the Upper East Side look the same and are totally boring, and he said, ‘But yeah! That’s you, too!’
–83rd & 3rd
Overheard by: A&M
Crazy old man selling bubble guns: Welcome to Coney Island!
Emo teen: This isn’t Coney Island!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: smirkingonlooker
Hipster #1: So, everybody is moving to Park Slope.
Hipster #2: Who’s everybody?
Hipster #1: I don’t know… Jews…
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Emily
Girl #1: I really like where I live now. Where do you want to live after school? Brooklyn Heights?
Girl #2: I want to live on the Upper East Side, far away from the subway… I plan on cabbing everywhere.
Girl #1: That can get really expensive.
Girl #2: I lived frugally all through undergrad. I plan on living large.
Girl #1: What are you studying, again?
Girl #2: Literature.
–26th & 1st
Overheard by: goodbye blue monday
Tourist girl to another: Oh my god, yes! Yeah, we’ll just walk back. Times Square is like a couple blocks away.
–11th St
Tourist, about Rent: Is this show always about Christmas time? Because I know there are some shows that they update for each season.
–Nederlander Theatre
Tourist lady: Tree! Where are you?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Robert
Tourist, navigating crowds: Oh my god! I, like, feel like Anne Frank.
–49th & 8th
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Tourist: Where’s a Duane What’s-his-nuts when you need it?
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Ben Smith
Tourist girl: … Are we in a dungeon?
–Track 4, Penn Station
Angry woman on cell: I don’t care if you are an ordained fucking minister, you can go straight to fucking hell!
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Last-minute shopper
Crazy lady into microphone: Just because you don’t do drugs or have sex doesn’t mean you’re not going to hell!
–Subway station, 43rd & Broadway, Times Square
Teacher: Let’s go to hell!
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Is this the train to hell? It is! Oh my god, you’re all in purgatory!
–A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Geneva
Scruffy artist type, to self: I’m not in hell, I’m in New York. I’m not in hell, I’m in New York…
–Elevator, Bellevue Hospital
Overheard by: David
Girl #1: There it is.
Girl #2: Aw. I thought Madison Square Garden was supposed to be… a garden.
–34th & 7th
Young girl with Texan accent #1: What’s Soho?
Young girl with Texan accent #2: Oh, that’s like where they have all the discount shopping places.
–R train
Headline by: dan
Runners-Up:
· “Bush Twins…….Activate!” – stephie
· “In Texas, We Call It Mexico…” – Michael Haigh
· “There’s a Wal-Mart in SoHo?” – Chuckles
· “They Were Disappointed with DUMBO, Too.” – nick
