Gay guy: I don't know why, they just scare me for some reason.
Lesbian: You're scared of dildos?
Gay guy: Yeah! They're just…always hard. And that scares me.
Lesbian: They're gonna get you. They're gonna come in the night while you sleep.
–NYU Student Lounge
Girl: I want that job! Is there really a job like that?
Boy: Yeah, it’s called a whore.
–NYU dining hall
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Student #1 filling out professor evaluation: What did you put?
Student #2: I wrote that I was unhappy with the lack of maturity he exhibited when referring to porn films.
Student #1: That’s pretty bold coming from someone writing in pink pen.
Student #2: It’s fuchsia!
–NYU
NYU guy: Jake* has problems.
NYU girl: Does he have polio?
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: Shanaca
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
(at an academic conference on Renaissance aesthetics)
Student #1: You know it's gonna be good when all the speakers are British.
Student #2: Pretty sure they're Australian.
Student #1: Oh… Posers!
–Gallatin Building, NYU
Overheard by: harker
NYU chick: Don’t hug him, he did a very stupid thing today
Gay guy #1 goes to hug gay guy #2 anyway.
Gay guy #2: Ow, watch out. I waxed my whole chest this morning.
–Washington Square Park
Girl on cell: So yeah, I was like, ‘That is a great costume,’ and then it set her hair on fire and I was like, ‘That’s gross.’
–CVS, 42nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: That’s right! Arrest me! I’ll burn half y’all houses down… And set the other half on fire!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Incitatus
Pseudo-intellectual: She called me and told me there was a bonfire in her ovaries.
–MacDougal Street Ale House
Overheard by: Ladle
Creepster: Come here… You don’t wanna know what I’m on right now. If you come home with me, I will light you on fire.
–Columbus Ave
Concerned NYU girl to boyfriend about California wildfires: Do you think Cher’s house burned?!
–Water St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: michael
Professor guy: Why did you decided to take this class?
Student guy: Because I heard you were groovy.
Professor guy: I do not know what this “groovy” is.
–Cantor Film Center, E. 8th Street
