Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you're here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma'am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wes
Cashier to woman buying sanitary napkins: Do you want these double-bagged?
Woman buying sanitary napkins: What's that supposed to mean?
–Pharmacy, Flatbush
Overheard by: taylor
[After being asked for full fare.]Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I do not have to pay! Did you forget about Abraham Lincoln in 1856, I mean 1865? He freed the slaves! Guess you forgot!
Assistant conductor: I still need the full fare, ma’am!
Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I still don’t see my reparations! Where’s my check?!?! Where’s my 40 acres and a mule?!?!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Laughing Whitey
Hobo #1: Stop playing your fucking drum, I hear it all the way over here.
Hobo #2: I was here first, motherfucker!
Hobo #3: You guys, why can't you just play together?
Hobo #2: Nah, fuck you man! Stay out of it!
Hobo #3: You should die. You gonna die. Tonight!
Hobo #2: Are you threatening me, man?
Hobo #3 (laughing): Nah, man, I'm just a shoe shiner, but you're seriously gonna die.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Highstein
Tattooed man in headphones: Hey man, you got a cigarette?
Hobo: Always.
Tattooed man in headphones: Really?
Hobo: Of course not. Look at me, I'm eating out of a trash can.
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Greg
Male suit: Sweet! They're getting me a new BlackBerry!
Female suit: Can I have your old one? You just got it.
Male suit: Eh, the middle button is broken. I may have to send it in.
Female suit: Your middle button is broken. You pee your pants when I touch it. That doesn't mean I don't want you.
–F Train
Overheard by: Kellz
Girl #1: Oh my god! We should definitely get together over the summer to study for the MCATs!
Girl #2: Yeah! That way, we'll actually have somewhat of a social life!
–Bard High School Early College
Overly tanned gentleman with crisp white shirt: Yo, my brotha, you gotta bib?
Waiter: Uhhh…
–Cafe, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Amanda
Poetry slam emcee: Hi, everyone! Wow, what a great turnout…I think you're all Emma's friends. She's first, but we have a great line-up, so please don't leave. Stay!
Emma's friend, sotto voce: Dude, it's a poetry reading, even Emma is leaving unless you give everyone another drink ticket.
–Grand Street & Driggs, Brooklyn
Tall 30-something: With my corporate job, I couldn't afford a studio at $1,850 per month, so then I became a dominatrix. But after a while, it takes over your life. You end up thinking "Well, I don't have anyone to beat up today, I'll just online shop." So I had to stop."
–54th St & 10th Ave, in Line for The Daily Show
Man on phone: Oh…but I thought you said to leave $500 for you to pick up. (pause) I'm sorry mistress…I'm sorry mistress.
–Broome b/w Mercer & Greene
Guy on cell in line for NJ transit bus: Call me daddy. Call me daddy! Now slap that ass. I can't hear that, slap that ass harder! Yeah, that's what I like.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Eric
Woman on cell: I'm going to spank you. Can I do that?
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: shelallie
Enthusiastic guy to friends: I probably could've whipped better today.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Eric
Six-year-old girl to little boys wrestling: Guys, why don't you to it to me? …cuz I don't care. My stomach hurts already. Guys, why don't you push me down? Because I like it!
–Central Park
Overheard by: nosey nafia
