Hobo: Hey man, can I have a cigarette?
Jewish smoker: No, sorry, I'm running low.
Hobo: No, you just don't wanna give me a cig 'cause you're a Jew.
Jewish smoker: Why can't you afford your own cigarettes? Is it cause you're black?
–9th Ave & 18th St
Hobo: Hey man, can I have a cigarette?
Jewish smoker: No, sorry, I'm running low.
Hobo: No, you just don't wanna give me a cig 'cause you're a Jew.
Jewish smoker: Why can't you afford your own cigarettes? Is it cause you're black?
–9th Ave & 18th St
Lost college girl to staff: Excuse me, I came in here to find a textbook but I spent all my money on that New Moon shit. Can I get a college discount?
20-something staff: Um, Edward or Jacob?
Lost college girl: Jacob.
20-something staff: Yeah, I think we can get you a discount.
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Overheard by: Taylor not twilight
Mom, to little girl: Don’t you ever say ‘bitch’ again, or I will knock all of your teeth out!
–6 train
Lesbian #1: We should start worshipping Satan.
Lesbian #2: Yeah! I bet we could be the first lesbian church of Satan worshippers.
Lesbian #3: That is so hot.
–French Roast, 11th & 6th
Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.
–Hunter College High School
Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.
–J2 Deli, W 18th St
Overheard by: nick m
Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".
–Yankees Stadium
Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.
–Washington Square Park
Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: Looking for an apartment
Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Corey
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Funky Monkey
Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!
–2nd Ave & 9th
Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!
–Times Square
Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?
–Astor Place
Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!
–Babies"R"Us, Union Square
Overheard by: miziz
Little boy holding a box of cupcakes: Dad, I need money.
Dad: Just run.
–Magnolia Bakery
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: So the project is extended to next Thursday?
Guy's friend: Yup.
Guy, super happy: Yes! Can I go hump a Buffulo?
–American Eagle Outfitters
Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!
–Flushing
Overheard by: Zee
Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.
–Maiden & William
Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."
–Wall St
Overheard by: Tamcakes
