Guy: Oh my god! I just snorted!
Girl: Hey! There’s only room for one snorter and I’ve already claimed that title.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Natalie
Guy: Oh my god! I just snorted!
Girl: Hey! There’s only room for one snorter and I’ve already claimed that title.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Natalie
Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts.
–57th and 8th
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Slutty girl: So, umm… like, can I just go in?
Bouncer: No. There's a line to your left.
Slutty girl: But, like don't girls get to just go in?
Bouncer: Um… this is a boy bar. You definitely have to wait in line.
–The Phoenix
Overheard by: Sean
Conductor, after fat girl vomits and dances on it: Attention passengers, if you are going to vomit on this train, go to the bathroom. If you can not make it to the bathroom, vomit on yourself. Do not dance in your own vomit, and do not vomit on my train. Thank you.
–Babylon Line, Penn Station
Overheard by: Feta Cheese
Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.
–W 27th St
Chick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.
–SoHo
Guy to friends: If y'all was to really write it down and make a… a food chain of all of who used to date who, and who's dating who now, I bet you y'all got all the same juices running up in y'all system.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Passing guy on cell: All I'm saying is everyone should have control over where their sperm goes.
–7th Ave
Hoochie on cell : Because I manage to get very juicy.
–L Train
Drunk girl at restaurant holding a champagne bottle: Excuse me, sir, can you open this for me? I'm afraid it's going to cum everywhere.
–Kaleidoscope, E 10th St
College dude: I bet there's semen somewhere on this grass.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Liz
Mom (to young girl banging on subway seat): Stop that, quiet.
Young girl: What'cha gonna do, open up a can of whoop-ass on me?
Mom: Girl, what did you say? Where did you learn that?
Young girl: You always say it to daddy.
–2 Train
Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?
–Café, Washington Square Park
Customer: Do you have any more frisbees?
Cashier: NYU isn't really a frisbee school.
Customer: Why not?
Cashier: You could hurt a tourist.
–Bookstore, NYU
Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!
–Q Train
Boyfriend: Hey, you can't use my umbrella anymore!
Girlfriend: Fine, then you can't use my face cream.
–Food Emporium, 86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Drew Gutstein
