Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Playin'

Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.

–106th & Amsterdam

Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.

–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rahstah

Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!

–69th & Lexington

Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger

Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.

–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: James

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Laptop, Offers and requests, On Cell, Players, Private Parts, Questions, Religion, Sex, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Weirdness

Animal, Wednesday One-Liner, or Mineral?

Man trying on hat: Hey! Do I look like John Wayne in this hat? Watch out, pilgrim! I'm planting roses!

–Botanical Garden

Girl to friend: I need a twig or a leaf or an herb or somethin'.

–C Train

White guy on cell: It's the goddamn Cherry Blossom Festival… so get your ass out here.

–Outside Brooklyn Botanical Garden

Maintenance worker to another: Oh, come on! It's not working now. Let's try plugging it into the tree.

–42 St & 2nd Ave

Flower vendor: Shut up nigga, I'll slap you! Fresh roses!

–7th Ave & 26th

Overheard by: Todd

Posted on August 13, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coworkers, Friends, Girls, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Threats, Trees and plants, Vendors & Street Performers, White People

How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up? Discuss

Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Observatory! Rainbow room!
(goth chick unbuttons her shirt)
Flyer guy: Rainbow room… Uh…
(goth chick reveals a Batman t-shirt)
Flyer guy, recovering: Discount admission! Observatory!
Goth chick (in menacing voice): I'm Batman.
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Batman! We got batman in Gotham! Observatory! Rainbow room! Batman! Discount admission!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on August 12, 2008
Buildings, Default, Flyer people, Free stuff!, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Rockefeller Center, Superheroes, Weirdness

The One Acid Trip That Got Hugh Hefner Where He Is in Life

College guy #1: So then I was like: “Whoa, that's a giant fucking bunny.”
College guy #2: Dude, are you high?
College guy #1: …yeah
College guy #2: Wanna go to the zoo?
College guy #1: Do they have bunnies?

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Angel

Posted on August 12, 2008
Animals & Nature, Default, Frat Boys, Friends, Offers and requests, Questions, Straight Trippin', Washington Square Park

Or the Key to the Lock-Box Containing It, Anyway

Chick #1: Let's have a baby together.
Chick #2: Let's do it. Which one of us is going to have it?
Chick #1: You are.
Chick #2: Why me?
Chick #1: Because I have the dick.

–Party, 6th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: hooked up with her the night before

Posted on August 11, 2008
Babies, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Offers and requests, Park Slope, Penis, Weirdness

Except Bon Jovi Fans and the Entire Pleather Industry

Dad: Why don't you take some pictures of all the buildings?
Little boy with camera: I already took pictures of those buildings. (aims camera towards New Jersey) I'll take pictures of this spot now!
Mom (disgustedly): No honey, that's New Jersey. Nobody cares about New Jersey.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: I care about jersey

Posted on August 10, 2008
Boys, Dads, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Pictures, Questions, Staten Island Ferry, U.S. Geography

Just Form an Orderly Line–No Pushing

Gay friend: Yeah right, I'm sure it's not that good.
Girl (loudly): Ohmigod, my sex is so that good. (to passengers) Who wants to try?
(silence)

–F train

Overheard by: definitely not me

Posted on August 10, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sex, Weirdness

Like That It's Possible to Get Thin by Eating Chocolate?

Guy giving out Kellogg's Special K chocolate bars: Free cereal bars! Free cereal bars!
Hobo (to Kellogg's guy): Hey, why isn't anyone giving me any money? They all be paying attention to you!
Kellogg's guy: Because I'm giving out free candy. You're giving out lies.

–Outside Penn Station

Posted on August 10, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Food, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Penn Station

Now Excuse Me While I Adjust My Leg-Warmers and Leave Haughtily

Middle-aged woman (begging): Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be carrying any hairspray in your purse, would you?
Slightly younger woman (patronizing): Um, nobody does that any more.

–Lobby Bathroom, Grand Hyatt Hotel

Posted on August 9, 2008
Age/Aging, Default, Hair, Hotels, Insults, Makeup, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Questions, Women

How the Handsome Prince Came to Be Cursed by the Witch

Old lady: Excuse me, could you help me move these bags?
Young teen (looking a bit confused and pissed off): Um. Sure.
(the teen moves the bags around the cart)
Old lady: Thank you. Could you help me pull up my pants?
Young teen: No, I cannot help you pull up your pants. I came here for some Advil, not to help you pull up your goddamn pants.

–CVS, 92nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Jayla M

Posted on August 8, 2008
Customers, Default, Medicine, Offers and requests, Old People, Questions, Store, Teens, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Women

Offers and requests