20-something tall black bellhop: I challenge you, right now, to a salsa dance-off.
70-year-old short Latino bellhop: Go get a radio.
–Peninsula Hotel
Overheard by: Carol
20-something tall black bellhop: I challenge you, right now, to a salsa dance-off.
70-year-old short Latino bellhop: Go get a radio.
–Peninsula Hotel
Overheard by: Carol
Elderly woman on stretcher: Is the ambulance heated?
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver: Yes.
Elderly woman on stretcher: I’m gonna freeze to death.
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver (smiling, tenderly): No, you’re gonna sweat to death.
–63rd b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Paul Tabachneck
Older yenta: What is she, anyway?
Younger yenta: Jehovah’s witness.
Older yenta: So that’s her problem!
–PATH
(older woman flailing her arms around while speaking to younger woman she is dining with)
Waitress: Yes, did you need something?
Older woman: Oh, no! I was just doing an imitation of ferocious wolves in the wild.
Waitress: Oh, okay.
–French Restaurant, Spring St
Old woman: Take a picture of me with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their son.
Young woman: Mom, the black kid isn’t a wax figure.
Old woman: Well, she just keeps adopting them, I thought it was her son!
–Madame Tussaud’s
Overheard by: Julie
Elderly man: Looking at you brings a song to my head.
Elderly woman: Is it a song from Carousel?
Elderly man: Yes. (pause) I’m a good singer, I’ll sing it for you. (starts to sing).
–Post Office, Lexington & 3rd Ave
Polite Japanese tourist: Excuse me, please. Can you give direction to Empire State Building?
Angry old man: Hell, no. It’s not like you people needed goddam directions to get to Pearl Harbor.
–Broadway
Overheard by: He’s sorta right
Hobo: Man, if you wanna get into heaven, you gotta talk to black people. They know where they at. Can’t get into heaven if you don’t talk to black people.
–Statue of Liberty
Bimbette on cell: So she is like pregnant? Like she is gonna have a baby? Hey, whatever happened to that black family?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bigg Rigg
NYU grad student: Bill Clinton isn’t black to me anymore.
–NYU
Black couple to group of white people: We’re black! We’re invisible!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: mada
White grandpa to white granddaughter in playground: Black kids have so much fun!
–Union Square Park
Old suit to magazine stand man: You know, they were going to transfer me to India but they had only one condition.
Stand man: Oh, what was that?
Old suit: I needed a cobra.
–University Place
Overheard by: Julia
Old, grumpy man: Where is the express line?
Woman: Right here.
[Old, grumpy man attempts to cut the line.]Woman: I don’t know if you can see it, but the back of the line is all the way over there!
Old, grumpy man: But I’m a Christian!
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: David Sanchez
