Recorded voice on loudspeaker: The train on platform 2 is now departing.
Man, running down stairs, in sing-song voice: I'm co-ming!
–LIRR Platform
Overheard by: Tigertail
Recorded voice on loudspeaker: The train on platform 2 is now departing.
Man, running down stairs, in sing-song voice: I'm co-ming!
–LIRR Platform
Overheard by: Tigertail
Exec #1: So, uh, she’s a squirter.
Exec #2: What?!
Exec #1: Yeah. I really haven’t had any experience with that before.
Exec #2: Details.
Exec #1: Just…everywhere.
–Bed, Bath & Beyond, 19th & 6th
Overheard by: Mr. Waiting in Line
Girlfriend: I just had an… [glances at boyfriend]… orgasm.
Boyfriend, smugly: Because of me.
–The Met
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Guy: What?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
–Greenwich St., Financial District
Funny-looking guy with crazy goatee & glasses to the sales assistant by the table full of butt plugs: I'm friendly with this woman… She likes things in her ass.
–Babeland, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lara
Girl: It felt so good. He then stuck his finger up my ass. Just as I was about to say "No! No!" I came. Ugh, I swear my life is a joke… A joke!
–Murray St & Greenwich
Overheard by: James
Guy talking way too loudly on cell: Man, I just lay her down and say, "baby, you put yo' tongue in daddy's ass!
–W 3rd & MacDougal
Overheard by: Mathieu
Guy on cell: Cus he'd already been to the emergency room, 'cus he stuck a shampoo bottle up his ass.
–L Train
Thug to girl in catsuit costume walking by: Man, I'd eat yesterday's breakfast out of that ass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Ed
Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it.
–116th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sully
Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me!
–89th St
Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Mark
Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively!
–Starbucks
Tourist man to girlfriend, pulling out a ring: Will you marry me?
Bag lady, interjecting: Has he made you come yet?
Tourist girlfriend, terrified: Um… no?
Bad lady: Don't marry him 'till he makes you come.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Kari
Skater boy: (horrible screeching dinosaur-like scream)
Crowd of skater boy's friends: Pterodactyl orgasm!
–Union Square
Hot 20-something: I can't believe that the last time we had sex, when you orgasmed you were like “ooooh, ooooooh, oooooooh!” From now on, I'm gonna start making some funny noises myself.
Hot 30-something: Oh yeah?
Hot 20-something: Yeah, from now on, when you're like “ooooh,” I'm gonna be like “moo!” or maybe “meow!”
–R Train
Overheard by: Jackie
Effeminate bisexual man: I'm going to make you come so many times… The thing is, I have self-esteem problems, and…
Female friend: Well, then you should talk to a therapist about that, instead of preying on unsuspecting girls.
–LIRR
