Send in the Wednesday One-Liners

Ghetto kid at a carnival: Man, that wasn’t no clown. That was just someone dressed like a clown!

–P.S. 218, The Bronx

Overheard by: Children are the future

Fourteen-year-old black girl to friend: You should have thrown a brick at a clown and seen the blood. You would have loved that.

–7th Ave Street Fair, Park Slope

Overheard by: send in the clowns

Little girl, pointing at obvious pimp: Look mommy, look! A clown!

–Brooklyn

Janitor to clown post-show: Everybody loves clowns. Even Bill Gates!

–Barnum & Bailey Circus

Slightly crazed looking man to well-dressed blonde chick: For $300 you’ll get a clown and a playboy bunny!

–E4th & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: I might consider paying up

Posted on April 30, 2008
9 to 5-ers, About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Blood & bleeding, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Park Slope, Physical appearance, Street, Teens, The Bronx, Thugs, Tourist Attractions, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Weirdness

He’s Willem Dafoe Scary

Girl #1, about a professor: Is he scary?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I can totally see myself making out with him.

–NYU Dorm

Overheard by: bling bling

Posted on April 21, 2008
Friends, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, NYU, Physical appearance, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Crayon Man Has Very Well-Drawn Eyes

Girl: I met this really hawt guy last night.
Freind: Really? What did he look like?
Girl: He was like kinda shortish but not really, and his eyes were like… Wow! And his skin was like really flesh colored.
Freind: Oh my gawd! I think I know him!

–Brodway & Wall Street

Posted on April 18, 2008
Beauty, Girls, Physical appearance, Sexuality, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Hot Wednesday-on-Wednesday One-Liners

Random guy, singing loudly: Leeeesbian seagull!

–South Street Sea Port

Overheard by: Ger-Man in New York

Thug: Shit! I have to get my teacher a present. Its so hard. She’s like butch… You know what I’m saying? Shes got short hair and don’t wear earrings -like that chick [points to a woman who can obviously hear the conversation and looks affronted.] Yeah lady, you like the pussy!

–F Train

Drunk girl: You wanna know why I’m a lesbian? When I was crawling out of my mothers vagina I tasted that shit. And that shit was good. I just had to keep going back for more.

–Odessa’s, Ave A

Overheard by: Dannia Alfonso

Hardcore lesbian tourist #1 to hardcore lesbian tourist #2: Hey! Beaver Street! Let’s eat down there.

–Beaver St , Hanover Square

Overheard by: WallStGuy

Black teen punk girl, arguing with boyfriend: No, I’m gonna go become a lesbian now. Big. Huge. Les. Bo.

–V Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Buff guy: But now they’ll know I’m a lesbian.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 16, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Black People, Drunks, Family Ties, Fears, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts, Girls, Guys, Lesbians, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Punks, Questions, Singing, Teens, The Village, Threats, Thugs, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Words

What Happens If You Don’t Hang Your Food from a Tree

British guy: Why is Sam having such a vagina attack?
Chick: I just saw her.
British guy: Did she look like she was having a vagina attack?

–St. John’s University

Posted on April 15, 2008
Brits, Default, Girls, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, School, Vagina, Words

Only with a “Ph”, Mommy

Little girl: Mommy, when were you skinny? High school? College?
Average-build mother: Yeah, both. Why? Do you think I’m fat?
Little girl: Ummm…

–2 Train

Posted on April 10, 2008
Default, Diet/Weight, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions

He Kinda Gets Off on the Rugburn

Professional woman #1: He’s great, he doesn’t mind my excess body hair.
Professional woman #2: Good men are so hard to find.

–48th St between 5th & 6th

Posted on April 7, 2008
Compliments, Default, Hair, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Relationships, Street, Women

It’s Like They Act Hardcore, But Aren’t

Father, trying to drag young son into store: Come on! What’s the matter?
Son: The people in there are scary!

–Outisde Hot Topic

Overheard by: Penny Lane

Posted on April 7, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Fears, Kids, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Questions, Store

Will She Do an Inverted 4-G Dive at 2 Meters?

Queer #1: That guy’s kinda cute.
Queer #2: Dude, that’s a dyke…there’s a whole contingent of dykes that strive for the Tom-Cruise-from-Top-Gun look.

–10th St & Ave A

Overheard by: paulie

Posted on April 5, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Movies, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Street, Union Square and East Village

Physical appearance