Girl #1: I can’t believe you just felt me up!
Girl #2: I can’t believe you just pulled my shirt off!
Two guys nearby whip their heads around to look.
Girls: What are you looking at?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: We all did
Girl #1: I can’t believe you just felt me up!
Girl #2: I can’t believe you just pulled my shirt off!
Two guys nearby whip their heads around to look.
Girls: What are you looking at?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: We all did
Black guy #1: So what do you think of my hood, yo?
Black guy #2: You livin' white, baby!
–SoHo
Overheard by: basquiat
College boy: Why was sex always a problem between us?
College girl: Well, some people think that sex is negotiable. I don't.
–F Train
Tourist Chick #1: There’s a subway on every corner in New York.
Tourist Chick #2: Really? Wow. How about the trains?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: rei-ray
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: You see all these white people here? All these white people is from Europe! You know that story?
Female African-American park guard: No…
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: Yeah!
–Central Park
Overheard by: white New Yorker
Two male twins, dressed alike, in their 20s, address two female twins, dressed alike, in their 20s.
Male twins: Hey! Are you twins?! You twins?! That’s great! We’re twins too! Hey, we’re twins too!
Female twins: Mmmhmm.
Male twins: You ain’t twins! You lesbians! She look like she wanna get it on with you! You ain’t twins! Hey, I’m just tryin’ ‘a help ya out! You ain’t twins.
Female twins: [silence]
Male twins: I’m just tryin’ a help you out! I have your best interest in mind! You ain’t twins! Look! That one’s that one’s mother!
Female twins: We’re twins. We are the same age.
Male twins: Then how come that one so much older than the other? You ain’t twins! We twins! That’s why we so tall! We the twin towers!
Female twins flee train.
–F train
Ghetto woman: Did you go on vacation this year?
Ghetto man: No.
Ghetto woman: Why didn't you go on vacation?
Ghetto man: I can't go on vacation, I can't even go to the Bronx.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Romany
Dorky little white kid: What happens if I fall in the tracks?
Dorky white dad: I guess I'd have to buy a new kid.
Dorky little white kid: That's beastin'!
–Q Train
Overheard by: that *is* beastin'
Kid: Hi! My name is Chris.
Employee: Hello.
Kid: What’s that on your head?
Employee: It’s a headset, so I can hear people talk.
Kid: Do they tell you secrets?
–Dunkin’ Donuts
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
