(at the gay pride festival)
Girl handing out stickers: Do you want a sticker?
Lady with a lot of stickers on: Fo' sho I'll take a sticker… and a cheeseburger, and some ice for the corn on my right foot.
Girl (looking discouraged): Ew.
–Hudson & Jane St
Overheard by: Jessica
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Woman #1: So how did Becky’s insemination go?
Woman #2: Oh, didn’t you hear? She’s pregnant.
Woman #1: Oh, that’s great!
–F Train
Overheard by: katherine
Headline by: SAtCW
Runners-Up:
· “I Knew If That Man Could Do It She Could Too!” – J
· “Labrador or Lesbian? You Make the Call” – joaquin carvel
· “Now She Can Have the Abortion She Always Wanted” – JohnAustin
· “Remember When It Used to Be Called “The Prom”” – Powder Blue Tuxedo
· “She Was So Drunk, But We Thought It’d Be Funnier Than a Tattoo” – Thug Auditor
· “The Best Part? Her Husband Thinks It Was Immaculate!” – Jim
Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.
–Vesey Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"
–Waverly & W 11th
Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"
–Theater District
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!
–C Train
Overheard by: Laura
Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?
–Lyceum Theatre
Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Ellen
Professor: This episode contains a bunch of Jewish stereotypes, so I want to show a lot of it.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Overheard by: Hartley
Boy with chinstrap and McDreamy quaff: Yo man, you tellin' me you never heard the story about when we got chased down by 1,000 Jews?!
–7-Eleven, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brandi, Anna and a bunch of other people
Stunning black girl with big afro, to nebbishy guy eating Chinese food: I can be Jewish in three months. Does it require any money? No! Fuck you! I can be Jewish in three months!
–back garden at madame x
Overheard by: Erica
Woman walking past Young Frankenstein posters: Oh my god! Mel Brooks is like my favorite old Jew ever!! Well, except for Moses and Abraham.
–Hilton Theater
Overheard by: Roy
Hipster on cell: Your friend just came up to me, grabbed my nose, and asked, "Are you Jewish?"
–Piano's Lounge
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Mysterious and intense voice amid grunts and groans: Oh yeah! Give it to me, you fucking Jewish dickhead!
–Building, 46th & 10th
Overheard by: Not a Sexual AntiSemite
Really pissed mom: And do you know what size unicorn they tried on her first? Medium.
–Macy's
Cafe employee, about pastries: Those look like fairy testicles.
–HopScotch Cafe
Overheard by: bildita
Guy yelling to passers-by: You're all materialistic, yuppie, vampire kings!
–W4th & Cornelia
Overheard by: greg
Man on cell: So Santa Claus will be there?
–Broadway & Wall St
Woman: When she was a newborn she looked exactly like Yoda, and then she grew up into Dopey.
–Penn Plaza
Five-year-old boy looking out of window: Ahh! I hate the sun! Vampires hate the sun!
–Q Train
Overheard by: LoRna
Conductor: This train doesn't go to Secaucus. You've got to get off at the next stop and wait for the train right behind this one.
Joisey wife: What??
Conductor: It's just one stop on the train right behind this one. (leaves)
Joisey wife: What did he say?
Joisey husband: It's one more stop, then it's Secaucus.
Joisey wife: No, he said we need to change trains or something.
Joisey husband: This is so damn confusing. We're never doing this again.
–Penn Station bound NJ Transit Train
Overheard by: Greg
16-year-old girl #1: Did you hear about Mary?
16-year-old girl #2: What about her? Did she finally have her baby? It's been 14 months!
16-year-old girl #1: Nope, she's still pregnant, it's due any day now.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rhonda
Tourist teen #1: You know they made Jersey Boys into a movie?
Tourist teen #2: Really?
Tourist teen #1: Yeah, it was called Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck.
–Eugene O'Neill Theatre
Teen girl #1: How was your date last night?
Teen girl #2: I forgot how bad cum tasted until the end of the night.
Teen girl #1: So, well then!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
