Homeless druggie chick: I'm waaay smarter than you!
Homeless druggie dude: No way, I'm crazy smart and shit.
Homeless druggie chick: Well, I know tons of shit that you don't, like that Manhattan is the only city in America that doesn't have a Main Street, and that mosquitoes have 47 teeth!
Homeless druggie dude (very impressed): Daaamn you are smart! How did you know that?!
Homeless druggie chick: I read Snapple caps, bitch!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kiki
Young man #1: You know, I don't get it. Why am I being ostracized?
Young man #2: Those girls.
Young man #1: So what if I hang out with those girls! I like girls as… you know… friends. It's not like I'm straight or anything.
Young man #2: But, Jerry… You fucked all of them! You're not gay.
Young man #1: Just because I like to fuck girls doesn't make me straight, Okay? Geez!
Young man #2: Really? And all this time I thought that's exactly what it meant.
Young man #1: It just means I don't like assholes.
Young man #2: You're still not going with us to the drag show. Get over it.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Tara O'Sullivan
Latina hipster: He loved my hair!
Latino hipster: They was all faggots. It was fags that loved your hair.
Latina: He didn't sound gay. And he had holes in his shirt.
Latino: Was he wearing polyester?
Latina: No.
Latino: See?
–A Train
Overheard by: Drew
Old lady: Excuse me, could you help me move these bags?
Young teen (looking a bit confused and pissed off): Um. Sure.
(the teen moves the bags around the cart)
Old lady: Thank you. Could you help me pull up my pants?
Young teen: No, I cannot help you pull up your pants. I came here for some Advil, not to help you pull up your goddamn pants.
–CVS, 92nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jayla M
Young man: Excuse me ma'am, but do you support Barack Obama?
Young mother: Who?
Young man: Barack Obama.
Young mother: Who?
Young man: Ba-rack O-ba-ma.
Young mother: I don't know who that is.
Young man: Have you been following the elections?
Young mother: The what?
Young man: Nevermind.
–42nd St & 6th Ave
(at the gay pride festival)
Girl handing out stickers: Do you want a sticker?
Lady with a lot of stickers on: Fo' sho I'll take a sticker… and a cheeseburger, and some ice for the corn on my right foot.
Girl (looking discouraged): Ew.
–Hudson & Jane St
Overheard by: Jessica
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Woman #1: So how did Becky’s insemination go?
Woman #2: Oh, didn’t you hear? She’s pregnant.
Woman #1: Oh, that’s great!
–F Train
Overheard by: katherine
Headline by: SAtCW
Runners-Up:
· “I Knew If That Man Could Do It She Could Too!” – J
· “Labrador or Lesbian? You Make the Call” – joaquin carvel
· “Now She Can Have the Abortion She Always Wanted” – JohnAustin
· “Remember When It Used to Be Called “The Prom”” – Powder Blue Tuxedo
· “She Was So Drunk, But We Thought It’d Be Funnier Than a Tattoo” – Thug Auditor
· “The Best Part? Her Husband Thinks It Was Immaculate!” – Jim
Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.
–Vesey Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"
–Waverly & W 11th
Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"
–Theater District
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!
–C Train
Overheard by: Laura
Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?
–Lyceum Theatre
Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Ellen
Professor: This episode contains a bunch of Jewish stereotypes, so I want to show a lot of it.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Overheard by: Hartley
Boy with chinstrap and McDreamy quaff: Yo man, you tellin' me you never heard the story about when we got chased down by 1,000 Jews?!
–7-Eleven, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brandi, Anna and a bunch of other people
Stunning black girl with big afro, to nebbishy guy eating Chinese food: I can be Jewish in three months. Does it require any money? No! Fuck you! I can be Jewish in three months!
–back garden at madame x
Overheard by: Erica
Woman walking past Young Frankenstein posters: Oh my god! Mel Brooks is like my favorite old Jew ever!! Well, except for Moses and Abraham.
–Hilton Theater
Overheard by: Roy
Hipster on cell: Your friend just came up to me, grabbed my nose, and asked, "Are you Jewish?"
–Piano's Lounge
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Mysterious and intense voice amid grunts and groans: Oh yeah! Give it to me, you fucking Jewish dickhead!
–Building, 46th & 10th
Overheard by: Not a Sexual AntiSemite
