We Just Print 'Em, Folks

Black woman in line for bus: I was in line first! This isn't fair! I was here before any of you!
Suit: Relax, Rosa Parks, you'll get on the bus.

–86th & Lexington

Posted on March 9, 2009
Black People, Public Transportation, Race, Suits, Upper East Side, Women

Yet You Won't Even Obey the White Man When It's Time to Cross the Street?

White woman with two kids: Oh my god! Look! These lollipops are designed to look like the faces of little white children!
Asian woman: Yeah–they're made of molded chocolate.
White woman: I love Asian grocery stores!
White woman's kid: Mommy, mommy! Can I have it? I want to eat the white child!

–New Kam Man, Canal St

Overheard by: office peon can be wary of white people

Posted on February 24, 2009
Asians, Body Parts, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Race, Should've Used a Condom, White People, Wishes & desires, Women

I Know the Kabuki Makeup Doesn't Help, But I Got Bored.

Black nanny #1 to another, about white baby in her care: Her mother tells me to put sunscreen on her, but she's so damn white.
Black nanny #2: I know, nigger looks like Casper.

–Battery Park Playground

Overheard by: Ana O

Posted on February 24, 2009
Black People, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Kids, Parks, Race, TV, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Um, Have You Seen Jackass?

French lesbian: Martin Luther king, was he white?
American lesbian: No. He was black!
French lesbian: Oh I always get him confused with that other president who was the cripple.
American lesbian: Martin Luther king wasn't ever a president.
French lesbian: God! But they have a day for him anyway? America is so pretentious!

–East Village

Posted on February 13, 2009
Foreigners, History & Geography, Lesbians, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

But Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

Excited little Asian girl, about obviously African diorama: Are those Indians?
Bored mom, paying no attention: Yeah.
Excited little Asian girl, to herself, in quiet, satisfied voice: They're Indians.

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on February 10, 2009
Asians, Girls, Moms, Museum of Natural History, Questions, Race, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity

Like Alexander, I Wept Because There Were No More Worlds to Conquer

Random guy #1: Have you ever been with an Asian girl?
Random guy #2: Yeah, as of last night I have.
Random guy #1: Ah. Mission in life accomplished, my friend.

–Washington Place

Posted on February 9, 2009
Guys, Questions, Race, Sex, The Village

Just Let a Vague Smile Of Incomprehension Be Your Umbrella

Thug lady #1: Yo, you got your gun in dat purse?
Thug lady #2: Yeah, bitch, but keep it on the down low, now this white boy knows I gots a gun in my purse.

–A Train

Overheard by: The White Boy