Race

Excited little Asian girl, about obviously African diorama: Are those Indians?
Bored mom, paying no attention: Yeah.
Excited little Asian girl, to herself, in quiet, satisfied voice: They're Indians.

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Random guy #1: Have you ever been with an Asian girl?
Random guy #2: Yeah, as of last night I have.
Random guy #1: Ah. Mission in life accomplished, my friend.

–Washington Place

Thug lady #1: Yo, you got your gun in dat purse?
Thug lady #2: Yeah, bitch, but keep it on the down low, now this white boy knows I gots a gun in my purse.

–A Train

Overheard by: The White Boy

Blond girl #1: And then I was like, “Why can't we just be separate but like…”
Blond girl #2: Yeah, separate but equal!
Blond girl #1: Exactly!

–Store, Times Square

Overheard by: michelle

Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!

–1 Train

Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.

–45th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Kristy Magyar

Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.

–Union Station

Overheard by: scared white guy

White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.

–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn

Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!

–Times Square

Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?

–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting

Old woman #1: Didn't you know that Asian people just love animals?
Old woman #2 (aggrieved): Then why do they eat them?

–Court & Degraw

Black guy to Asian girl passerby: Excuse me, I don't want to be rude, but I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental chick. So…can we get a room or something?
Asian girl: Uhm…it's “Asian,” not “oriental,” 'k? (she walks off)

–69th St & 5th Ave

White guy: Why does Beyonce sing “to the left, to the left”?
White girl: Why?
White guy: Because black people have no rights.
White girl: Isn't Beyonce, like, Latino?

–74th St & Lexington

Black guy: How can I help you?
White guy, pointing at bread loaf: what kind of bread is that?
Black guy: That's multigrain.
White guy: I like white bread. Do you have any white bread? Not to be racist or anything.

–Bakery

Girl #1: You should definitely Netflix it, it's totally your kind of movie.
Girl #2, skeptically: You think?
Girl #1: Well, you love racism and cowboys don't you?

–MoMA