Scents of the City

Girl: Can you press 8, please?

The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.

Girl: Smells like Judaism here.

–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th

Overheard by: Jayson Littman

Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: Dana

Tourist mom to kid: There's some weird smells around here…
Suit: Nah, that's New York you're smelling. Dog piss, hobos piss, hobos barf… Ah, the glory of the Great White Way.

–Times Square

Overheard by: i love new york.

Chick #1: Oh my god, her bathroom smelled so bad! Like feet!
Chick #2: Like vagina.
Chick #1: Like foot marinated in vagina! [They realize two guys are watching, bemused.]Guy with friend: Um… We don’t speak English.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: I actually know those girls

Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick wet.
Flamboyant queer: That’s something straight people say.
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick stinky.

–Soho

Overheard by: Daniel Scott

Old hobo, to no one: Don’t start smellin’!
Young hobo: Are you serious?
Old hobo: You think I’m jokin’?

–W 79th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jon A.

Salesguy #1: Dude, I think I smell or something…
Salesguy #2: You smell like the robust combination of onions and poop.

–The Puma Store, Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: Jeeps

Girl: Don’t walk me behind me, I’m about to fart.

–Times Square station

Girl: God, it smells like an armpit farted in here.

–Rififi, E. 11th Street

Overheard by: Miso

Guy on cell: Baby, baby, please, listen, I just, I’m almost there, c’mon, I’m comin’ up on your building now, baby, don’t be like that! Look out the window and you’ll see me! Shit, you can smell me, baby.

–12th & D

Fratboy: My shorts smell like a little boy’s balls.

–Coney Island beach

Overheard by: Alissa

Woman: Just so you know, it smells like someone urinated in there.

–Banana Republic, 16th & 5th

Overheard by: beth wren

Drunken passenger: Someone farted up in here. Shit smell like AIDS, man.

–W Train

Tween girl: It so smells like London out today.
Hippie chick: What does London smell like?
Tween girl: Really damp.

–10th St & Greenwich

Overheard by: Intimidated by children