Teen girl #1: How was your date last night?
Teen girl #2: I forgot how bad cum tasted until the end of the night.
Teen girl #1: So, well then!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Teen girl #1: How was your date last night?
Teen girl #2: I forgot how bad cum tasted until the end of the night.
Teen girl #1: So, well then!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Frat boy #1: I feel like I just had sex.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, I know the feeling.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Commuter
Black girl #1: Can I feel the inside of your ear?
Black girl #2: Um…
Black girl #1: I’m not gay, I just like the way ears feel!
–6 Train
College girl #1: So I think I’ll just get the whole thing waxed, so that the next time I go, it just won’t hurt that much.
College girl #2: I don’t get it.
College girl #1: Like, I’ll be hairy the first time, so it will hurt, and then when I go back, I’ll be like: “Oh, that wasn’t as painful as the first time.”
College girl #2: Shit, shut up! You’re so loud! Now that guy knows you have a hairy vagina.
–Union Square Train Station
Overheard by: the trainman
Fabulous woman: That’s all vodka under the bridge.
–55 Bar
Overheard by: Girl Margaret
Huge man to small child trying to participate in conversation: No, son, we’re not talking about your school–we’re talking about Bam! You trying to get all up in the Kool-Aid, but you don’t even know the flavor.
–C Train
Drunk girl, accidentally taking swig of vodka instead of water: This wetness is spicy!
–Bergen St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gnomies
Skinny teen: I wish they made diet water.
–Times Square
JAP: I’d like a Pellegrino.
–Hooters
Middle-aged suit yelling into cell: No- I want to see you drink the bong water!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Me Too…
Girl #1: MTV is putting out another one of those stupid beach shows where they just film stuck-up bitches.
Girl #2: They have so fucking many of those, they’re pointless, they need to do something different.
Girl #1: Yeah! They should film us, that would be awesome.
Girl #2: Totally, I would watch it.
(pause)
Girl #1: My ankles hurt!
Girl #2: Yeah, my left one hurts.
Girl #1: My right does.
–Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Emily J.
Blonde: And it totally tasted like plastic or Styrofoam or some shit.
Redhead: Oh my god, maybe he’s a robot!
Blonde: Huh?
Redhead: If your boyfriend’s cum tastes like plastic, he’s a robot. Duh.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Marlee
Boyfriend: My vibrator is a lot louder than yours.
Girlfriend: Really?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I’m switching to AT&T.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Not From Jersey City
Lively black man: My sense of smell is back. I can smell pussy again!
–LIRR
Overheard by: meg
Black girl on cell: …you know it smells like straight bootymeat!
–Times Square
Overheard by: patrick
Obese black woman wearing skin-tight World’s #1 Dad t-shirt: This train smells like urine.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: World’s #2 Dad
Guy on cell: Baby, all I’m saying is when you came home last night, you smelled like another dude!
–107th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: HuntingSnark
Woman to male friend: I’ll just have to call you "anus breath" from now on.
–Jewish Theological Seminary, 122nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sticking to mouthwash from now on
Woman: I smell dick. (licks her hand, sniffs it) Sho ’nuff!
–R Train
Thug #1: It is on fire, I swear! I cannot walk around anymore.
Thug #2: Dude, just because it itches doesn’t mean it’s an STD.
–Observation Deck, Empire State Building
Overheard by: StrikeForceAwesome
