Tween girl #1: Oh my god, is it wrong that I want him inside me?
Tween girl #2: Uh, yeah, especially since you’re like 13 and a virgin.
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, shut up! I don’t want all these New Yorkers to know I’m a virgin!
–50th & 6th
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, is it wrong that I want him inside me?
Tween girl #2: Uh, yeah, especially since you’re like 13 and a virgin.
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, shut up! I don’t want all these New Yorkers to know I’m a virgin!
–50th & 6th
Guy selling Obama condoms: Yes, you can… get laid! Don't do the big apple without protection. Obama condoms, get them here!
Frumpy Southern tourist lady: Oh my god! They are actually condoms. That is my President's face. It does not belong on a condom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sam
Grad student: Translation: Will you marry me? Or: I don’t want germs.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude: … My wedding [mumble] gonna take away my clothes, so I’m going to need a tear-away tuxedo.
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jo
Chick to another: Yeah, he’s the one who wouldn’t marry her because she was too pale.
–Starbucks
Blonde: … And I’m really not sure, because he said he shouldn’t unless we are married, but that it’s okay, we could just do it and then he could just confess his sins or something like that…
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: Dan
Lesbian to group: So, what is the reason behind getting married, besides pretending to be heterosexual? Exactly — presents!
–Party, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jude
Sobbing woman: I can’t believe he never called me back! And to think I gave him a chance!
Short friend: I bet he’s just sidetracked, give him some time!
Tall friend: Or maybe he’s with another woman!
Short friend: Oh, don’t think that! You beautiful, and smart, and… (cellphone rings)
Sobbing woman: (looks at phone) Who the fuck is Jason? (answers phone) Hello? Oh, hi Jason, this is Melinda*, remember? I went on a date with you last week! I’d just like to say, thanks for fucking my friend!
–49th & Lexington
Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy!
–Grand Central
Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant!
–TGI Fridays
Overheard by: Sara
Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Hannah
Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex.
–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th
Overheard by: jmike
Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time!
–96th St station
Overheard by: Kind of Confused
20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Chick: You can't really have sex with a Sphinx, the body is a lion.
Guy: Sphinxes are still titty-fuckable!
–NYU
Overheard by: LSB
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Drunk girl, screaming at Adam Duritz: I want you in my vagina!
Friend: Would you stop?! Like 400 people hate you right now!
Drunk girl: I don’t care, they didn’t fuck him!
Friend: Actually… Like 200 of them probably did…
–Counting Crows Concert
Overheard by: Hating her
Guy #1: You were not a virgin if you had sex with her.
Guy #2: Yes, I was. Technically you are still a virgin spiritually if she is ugly.
–Metro North to OAR Concert
Overheard by: Kelley
Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.
–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jaina Wald
Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!
–Wall & Water
Overheard by: Aubrie
Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?
–Central Park
Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?
–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus
Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Natalie
Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.
–22nd & Broadway
Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!
–45th & Lex
Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!
–34th St
Overheard by: naidababy
