Girl #1: I can’t believe you fucked him in my bed!
Girl #2: Well, I made sure that he didn’t cum on your sheets!
Girl #1: How thoughtful of you.
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: Snorted through my nose
Girl #1: I can’t believe you fucked him in my bed!
Girl #2: Well, I made sure that he didn’t cum on your sheets!
Girl #1: How thoughtful of you.
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: Snorted through my nose
Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year's resolution was to… keep my legs closed a little better?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in upholding it.
Cute girl #2: But it's January 2!
–Bleecker & Bowery
Overheard by: Unimpressed, but amused
Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.
–6 train
Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn’t even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet?
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Kiere Walker
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Julium
Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color.
–Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!
–Union Square
Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: molly
Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue.
–Hill Country BBQ
Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.
Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Erich Pelletier
Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: V
Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents!
–Pathmark, Massapequa
Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead?
Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults.
–Columbia University
Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not.
–Columbia University
Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun."
–Grand Central
Overheard by: galgal
20-ish guy: So, I should just ask: Can I come in and fuck your brains out?
20-ish girl: You don’t have to be all Tarantino about it, but yeah.
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Esther
Boy #1: What did you do last night?
Boy #2: I fucked what's-his-face last night.
Boy #1: You don't remember his name?
Boy #2: If it's under six inches, you don't get remembered!
–17th & 7th
Overheard by: Wyatt J
Suit #1: Where’s this dive you were telling me about?
Suit #2: West of Union Square.
Suit #1: Oh yeah?
Suit #2: Yeah, ballerina girls from Michigan go there. They are bendy.
–Old Slip office
Overheard by: Kevin
