Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Hobo #1: Man, god never did 'nuffin' for me. Look at me.
Hobo #2: Captain Kirk fucks purple bitches!
–9th St b/w Ave B & C
Overheard by: RR Dr. GZA
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I paid my girlfriend's rent! And her food! And I only get to have sex with her once a month! And it's been like this for my past two relationships! I think I can handle having sex five times a month…
Girl: That's too much!
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I make $1.5 million a year in Merrill Lynch!
–Tre Restaurant
Overheard by: D
Playa on cell: I know there will. That’s why I’m not bringin’ my shortie. You don’t bring sand to the beach, playa. Huh-huh.
–Stanton + Forsythe, LES
Overheard by: Cityrag.com (Hi, Buddy!)
English teacher: Class, I’d like you to remember where the line is. It is always moving, and it is determined by me.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: HJWC
English teacher: I rose up into the air and flew out the window… You didn’t notice this?
–Hunter College High
Overheard by: stupid english student
Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this classroom, and I am completely serious. Number one, no swearing. Number two, no scuffles. Number three, no sex until 3:20 when you can do what you want.
–Grace Church School
Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bathroom stall graffiti! My favorite from this school is in the third floor bathroom: ‘If you can read this, you are pooping.’
–Bard High School Early College
Teacher to another: You are a hemorrhoid in my ass.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symptom of suicide.
–Hunter College High
English teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay attention. You might learn something.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Cute teen girl: Yeah, there was a slip 'n slide there.
Cute teen boy: Yeah, I scratched my ass on that slip 'n slide!
–Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: lindsay r
Chick #1: One of my friend’s moms has unholy thoughts about Charlie Rose.
Chick #2: One of my friends has dreams about having sex with her family’s minivan. And not humping the side of it, either. We’re talking full on, riding the stick-shift sex. Hmmm.
Chick #1: We run with an interesting crowd.
–1 train
Overheard by: Djlindee
Ghetto chick: What the fuck is with all the cops at this station?
Punk chick: I don’t know.
Ghetto chick: I mean I’m fuckin’ one and all but damn, I still don’t like them.
–6 train
Overheard by: tasha
Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Dain
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.
–34th & 7th
Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Wade
Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cha
Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Braincurve
Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.
–Central Park
