Street

Tween boy #1: Fine, fine. I’ll buy you a BLT. How ’bout that?
Tween boy #2: A BLT? I’m Jewish, you idiot.
Tween boy #1: Oh, whatever. I see you eat a BLT every day, liar.

–64th & Park

Overheard by: Andrea C.

Cheerleader girl #1: Terry, what are those people doing? Is that fake blood?
Cheerleader girl #2: I think they’re representing Chinese torture or something.

–51st & 7th

Overheard by: Alvin Cheung

Teen girl: You know that dream I keep having where I kill you on Madison Avenue? I think it’s coming true.
Mom: Oh look, the Chanel store!
Teen girl: Uh oh.

–Madison between 63rd & 64th

Guy #1: Can you think of anyone who, in their prime, was hotter than Jessica Alba is right now?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah, totally. Like, Bridget Bardot, and Apollonia in Purple Rain.

–5th Avenue & 10th Street

Overheard by: Christina Walker

Guy #1: Hey, check her out, she’s so hot.
Guy #2: Eh, she’s decent.
Guy #1: I’d do her
Guy #2: I’d tap her, but not too hard.

–25th & Lexington

Overheard by: Eugene Lee

Girl #1: Quick, we have to get that cab!
Girl #2: Omigod I can’t believe we’re running in public!
Girl #1: We’re so homeless!

–10th & Broadway

Guy #1: So I’m trying to set Anthony up with this girl.
Guy #2: Wait a minute, I thought Anthony was gay.
Guy #1: Everybody does, but he’s not. He just has a slight lisp.

–Pazza Note, 56th & 6th

Overheard by: El Cubano

Hobo: Of course Bloomberg is fucking gay. All the gays are Republican.

–3rd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: Jim Ed Tabors

Father: It’s a little boy just like you, except you’re a little girl.

–2nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Broc Morten

Southern woman: Excuse me, sir? We aren’t from around here but could you tell me where Times Square is?
NY Man: Yeah, it’s a bit uptown from here, you’re lookin’ for 125th street. It’ll say Harlem but don’t let it throw you off.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Carl Krickmire

Tourist guy: Excuse me, where is the subway?
NY guy: Sorry, I don’t speak English.

–Rockefeller Center

Little boy: Hey, ma! Look how much of this banana I can stick in my mouth!

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: A-Rod