Relaxed professor, talking about his past: When I was younger my friends and I would go to McDonald's for the fries, and Burger King for the burgers.
20-something student: My grandmother told me she did the same thing!
Relaxed professor: Yeah, we dated.
–Columbia University
Student #1: Mr S., you have a big wenis.
Teacher: What!?
Student #1: “Wenis” is the extra skin at the back of your elbow.
(teacher grabs forearm)
Student #2: No, straighten your arm and grab the extra skin. If you pinch your wenis really hard it doesn’t hurt! Try it, pinch your wenis, Mr S.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Guy leaving registration line: Yo,son, I'm a fucking college student!
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Girl to friend: If I blow off the first day of class to go to Nobu, am I really meant to be an MD?
–Nobu Restaurant, Tribeca
Crazy guy: School is good! School is very good! You can speak Chinese! You can speak Japanese! (counts to ten in Spanish.) School is good! School is very good!
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Hipster art student: He keeps giving us too many penis assignments. I don't wanna do another penis assignment.
–Pratt Institute
Blonde: My mom wants me to look at graduation dresses…yeah, let's see if I get there first.
–Austin St, Forest Hills
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
Man on bike: You see those boxes over there?
Freshman girl: The white ones?
Man on bike: Yeah, you see those?
Freshman girl: Yes. Those are white boxes.
Man on bike: And you see the truck over there? With the fridge in it?
Freshman girl: Yes.
Man on bike: Okay, just checking. I thought that's what they wanted us to think. (bikes away)
–Pratt Campus
Overheard by: Pratt student
Frantic, screaming child: But I wanna transfer. I wanna transfer!
Calm mother: And where do you wanna transfer to?
Child: Australia.
–crosstown bus, 72nd St
Overheard by: steven
Headline by: woo hoo
Runners-Up:
· “And Try To Get Through Samoa at Rush Hour?” – Greg Costello
· “But It’s Always So Early There” – Kelsey
· “Kangaroos seek 21st century juvies for fun, romance.” – sidruid
· “Kids Say The Crikiest Things!” – josh
· “She drank a lot of Foster’s during pregnancy” – lc
· “This is why you should beat your children” – Adam
· “We Brits would have sent him for free in the old days” – Iain, London
Columbia student volunteer: So, who knows what soy milk is?
Fourth grade girls: [Silence.]Columbia student volunteer: Well, soy milk tastes like milk, but it’s made with beans.
Fourth grader: Hold the phone — beans has titties?
–P.S. 125
Overheard by: alexandra
Guy: I would literally sell a toe right now to have someone do this paper for me. Any toe. Literally, any one.
Girl: Really? Any one? Even the big one? ‘Cause then you couldn’t wear thong sandals… Or have a girlfriend.
Guy: Fuck that. I want to wear thong sandals.
–Columbia University
NYU Girl #1: Meanwhile, my boyfriend is being a huge prick.
NYU Girl #2: Meanwhile, you’re sleeping with a guy on your hall.
–Washington Square Park
NYU student: It must be hard to kill someone.
NYU professor: No, it’s not.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Blazed
