Woman #1: Chile? Isn't that in Mexico?
Woman #2: No, it's its own country.
Woman #1: Really? All by itself?
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Overheard by: Linda Keegstra
Woman #1: Chile? Isn't that in Mexico?
Woman #2: No, it's its own country.
Woman #1: Really? All by itself?
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Overheard by: Linda Keegstra
Mother of 8-year-old: I don't mind that my son is so into zombies, Jesus was a zombie technically. After all, it's a healthy way for him to find our religion.
Mother of 10-year-old: I never thought about it that way. (to son) Joseph, do you like zombies?
–1 Train
Overheard by: sarah-Jaana Nodell
Woman, texting: How do you pluralize "uterus"?
–TKTS Booth
Overheard by: DramaPirate
Kids entertainer, singing: Do you know what a co-creator is? To create is to make something, and when you co-create, you do it together…
–Kindergarten party, Williamsburg
Cashier with cookbook: It's got a table of continents so you can see what's in it!
–Department Store, 225th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Student: I just love adding "izzle" to the end of words.
–Metro-North
Coworker: UPS didn't have the tracking information at first, but then they found it… Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket.
–Fordham University
Grey-haired white guy #1: That presentation had way too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #2: He loves numbers.
Grey-haired white woman: Numbers are good, but that was too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #1: I don't like numbers. Yo no quiero muchos numeros.
Grey-haired white guy #2: Si! Yo entiendo.
(they crack up)
Grey-haired white woman: Wait… What does that mean?
Grey-haired white guy #1: It means “I don't like numbers.” (they laugh again)
Grey-haired white guy #1: I heard Hispanic-speaking people don't actually say “me gusta.” Anyone know if that's true?
Grey-haired white guy #2: Hmm, I thought it was just Colombians.
Grey-haired white woman: I used to know a Puerto Rican woman.
–Financial District
Overheard by: Office Temp
Guy #1: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Guy #2: That’s hard, man. I’ve never been good at science.
Guy #3: Me neither.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Bored at the Office
Girl #1 on cell: So I freaked out as soon as I saw Ethan and… And… What’s his name, Bill?
Girl #2: Ben.
Girl #1 on cell: And Ted.
Girl #2: Ben
Girl #1: Ed.
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1 on cell: Well, Henry.
–5th Ave & 16th
Overheard by: in love with jack
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD'ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I'm going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn't have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Teen girl #1: Yeah, it’s totally true. I heard it on the olive branch.
Teen girl #2: “Olive branch”?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, you know. It’s going around…It’s a rumor. The olive branch.
Teen girl #2: You mean the grape branch?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: rebecca
Hobo: Hey man, can I have a cigarette?
Jewish smoker: No, sorry, I'm running low.
Hobo: No, you just don't wanna give me a cig 'cause you're a Jew.
Jewish smoker: Why can't you afford your own cigarettes? Is it cause you're black?
–9th Ave & 18th St
Teen girl: You know what I don’t get?
Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh…I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: … And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove–
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: … Sara is Jewish, you idiot!
–McDonald’s, Park Ave
