A blind woman and her dog are making their way into a Duane Reade through the “Out” door, with difficulty to keep the door open. Behind them is a WASP lady, waiting to get in.
Blind woman: Good, good, now make a hard left, to the counter, to the counter.
WASP lady: Idiots.
–74th & 3rd
Gangsta girl: I mean, he's just such a loser.
Gangsta boy: Right, yeah.
Gangsta girl: I mean, murder, doing drugs and selling them…that's just so stupid.
–C Train
Customer, waiting for credit card to be approved: You sell a lot of toys here.
Bewildered cashier: Yes. That we do.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
German vendor: Hello.
Midwestern kid: Look, chocolate.
German vendor: Do you know Mozart chocolate?
Midwestern kid: No.
German vendor: But do you know Mozart?
Midwestern mom: No.
–Christmas market, Columbus Circle
Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.
–Hunter College High School
Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.
–J2 Deli, W 18th St
Overheard by: nick m
Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".
–Yankees Stadium
Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.
–Washington Square Park
Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: Looking for an apartment
Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Corey
Literature prof: Carlos Fuentes and Octavio Paz were two Mexican intellectuals who wrote essays concerning what it meant to be Mexican. Can anyone name some equivalent American intellectuals who were concerned with what it means to be American?
Student #1: Steven Spielberg?
Student #2: J. K. Rowling?
Student #3: Bob Dylan?
Student #4: C. S. Lewis?
Student #5: Stephen King?
[silence]
–Fordham University Classroom
Overheard by: [Embarrassed] to be an American
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
Girl #1: How's your diet going?
Girl #2: Really good. I've been working out like crazy and I haven't had any water like all day.
Girl #1: Good for you. Water's like soooooooooo heavy.
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: branbran
Columbia girl: I can’t believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You’ll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.
Subway stops at 145th.
Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?
–1 train
