Stupidity

Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.

–Hunter College High School

Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.

–J2 Deli, W 18th St

Overheard by: nick m

Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".

–Yankees Stadium

Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.

–Washington Square Park

Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.

–Park Avenue

Overheard by: Looking for an apartment

Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: Corey

Literature prof: Carlos Fuentes and Octavio Paz were two Mexican intellectuals who wrote essays concerning what it meant to be Mexican. Can anyone name some equivalent American intellectuals who were concerned with what it means to be American?
Student #1: Steven Spielberg?
Student #2: J. K. Rowling?
Student #3: Bob Dylan?
Student #4: C. S. Lewis?
Student #5: Stephen King?
[silence]

–Fordham University Classroom

Overheard by: [Embarrassed] to be an American

Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.

–125th St station

Overheard by: Solar

Girl #1: How's your diet going?
Girl #2: Really good. I've been working out like crazy and I haven't had any water like all day.
Girl #1: Good for you. Water's like soooooooooo heavy.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: branbran

Columbia girl: I can’t believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You’ll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.

Subway stops at 145th.

Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?

–1 train

Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?

–Pace University

Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.

Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City?

–39th & Madison

Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????

–N. 11th St, Williamsburg

Comedy show guy: Would you folks like to go to stand-up comedy tonight?
Tourist group leader: Well, do we have to have to stand the whole time?

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: organizedchaos

Dumb blonde girl to guy: Are you from England or is that just a British accent?
British guy: Uh, yeah.

–SoHo Billiards

Overheard by: Cory