Man: When's your baby's birthday?
Mom: Last week.
Man: Oh, he a Gemini?
Mom: No, he a Tuareg.
Man: Oh, shoot, watch out.
–R Train
Man: When's your baby's birthday?
Mom: Last week.
Man: Oh, he a Gemini?
Mom: No, he a Tuareg.
Man: Oh, shoot, watch out.
–R Train
Girl: Can I have a breakfast sandwich?
Dunkin' Donuts employee: Yes, miss, what kind?
Girl: Breakfast.
–F Subway
AP English teacher: Let's look at how this book can be read as a Christian allegory. The main character, Santiago, was a fisherman. (draws Jesus fish symbol on board) Okay, you all know what this is. So it means that Jesus, like Santiago, was a…?
Confused student: A fish?
–Riverdale
Female employee to coworkers: Oh my god, you guys! I've got this customer on the phone looking for a fertility jacket! I'm going crazy looking… What the fuck is a fertility jacket?
Male employee: Tina*, you mean a “utility” jacket?
–Bloomingdale's, Soho
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…
Man handing out flyers: Hey, do you like comedy? Do you?
Passerby: No, thank you.
Man handing out flyers: So you're German?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chloe E.
NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Elena
Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?
–NRW Train
Overheard by: Stacey
Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?
–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope
Overheard by: persiangroove
Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Kaitlen
20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?
–55th & 6th
Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)
–Roosevelt Island
Man: You're gonna have to accept that if, say, we're having a romantic afternoon and we pass a hottie on the street, I will check her out, then have to run over, tackle her, dry hump her, and then run away from her, yelling, “I'm sor-ry!” I can't be held accountable for my behavior.
Woman: Yes, you can.
Man: It must be great to be a duck. No relationships. Just eating and living.
Woman: Ducks have relationships.
Man: No, they don't.
Woman: They're like one of the only mammals that have relationships.
Man: No.
Woman: I mean, at least they are couples, like they pair up.
Man: Yeah, but that's like just for the day.
–Central Park Pond
Overheard by: Jalmasy
