Wednesday One-Liners Are Another Year Older but None the Wiser

High school-age Jersey girl: So I went on my ex-boyfriend's Facebook, since his birthday was last week. Only like 30 people wrote on his wall to wish him happy birthday.
Friend: Oh my god. What a loser!

–NJ Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on August 15, 2021
Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Relationships, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens

Guy Ritchie, Drunk?

Girl #1: He told me not to worry about his girlfriend. He was like, “You know you’re gonna like it!”
Girl #2: Oh my god, that’s so your type! Like, borderline rapist!

–Bungalow 8, West 27th Street

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on August 14, 2021
Bars & Clubs, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Violence

…Is That, Like, a Type Of Cat?

Subway guitar player: This next song is for the Korean lady in the white coat sitting in front of me. Are you Korean?
Lady: No, I'm from Peru.
Subway guitar player: Oh, shit! I never met a Peru lady before.

–Uptown 2 Train

Posted on August 8, 2021
Clothing, Foreigners, Musicians, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Singing, Stupidity, Women

That’s Including the Rocks in Her Head

Woman #1: This train goes really fast!
Woman #2: They don’t run it as often, I think because they’re afraid people might jump in front of it.
Woman #1: Oh my god! Who could be that depressed? Take some pills, for Christ’s sake.
Woman #2: I’m surprised it’s such a problem here, I mean, duh, you got all these tall buildings.
Woman #1: Well, any building–
Woman #2: No, you gotta go up at least 17 stories to be sure, otherwise you just end up in a wheelchair which is, duh, super-depressing.
Woman #1: 17 stories!
Woman #2: Maybe 15 for you, you weigh more than me.

–4 train

Posted on August 7, 2021
Death, Fat People, On the Subway, Stupidity

…Actually, I Have No Idea What You're Trying to Say

NYU girl #1: I mean, and she was like, and I was like, and like…
NYU girl #2: Yeah…

–Coles Gym, NYU

Overheard by: Currer Bell

Posted on July 22, 2021
Gyms, NYU, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Words

Are Wednesday One-Liners Funny Ha-Ha, or Funny-Peculiar?

Guy eating pancakes: Everything's funny in retrospect, like the time I got that screwdriver stuck in my eye.

–IHOP, Brooklyn

Ancient Greek civilization professor: A sexual act, in some sense, for an observer is funny.

–Hunter College

Crazy lady: All the prostitutes need to be rounded up and stuck in churches! (teen girl laughs) You think that's funny? It's not gonna be funny when you are in a hospital addicted to crack!

–Water St & Broad St

Girl to her friend: Wouldn't it be funny if human beings could only walk forward and backwards?

–8th St & 2nd Ave

Lady sitting with girlfriends: It's funny because I'm pregnant, and he doesn't know.

–Starbucks

Drunken Jets fan to friends in Jets jerseys: That's not funny. You want to see something funny? (grabs wooden signpost, slams forehead into it) That's funny!

–W 4th & Barrow

Overheard by: jira monkey

Posted on July 19, 2021
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Assholes, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Church, Crazies, Drunks, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Health and Hygiene, Hunter, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Prostitution, Sex, Starbucks, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Wednesday One-liners Get There Somehow

Drunk guy on cell: We’re going to the Lower East Side. You can’t miss me–I’m in a rickshaw!

–2nd Avenue & 4th Street

Posted on July 15, 2021
Drunks, NYC Geography, On Cell, One-liners, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Stupidity

Actually…