Stupidity

Girl #1: So, yes, that should be our goal this weekend.
Girl #2: Agreed.
Girl #1: We’ll get as many drugs as we can find.
Girl #3: And do them as quickly as we can.
Girl #2: Niiice.

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: V

B&T girl #1: Ow, my ears just popped.
B&T girl #2: Yeah, that’s because we just went into the Lincoln tunnel.

–LIRR, East River

Guy: I'd like the two-for-one sundae deal.
Employee, agitated: It's not two-for-one!
Guy: It's not?
Employee: It's “buy one, get one free”!

–6th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Nacci

White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.

–MetroTech, Lawrence St

Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Station agent, fighting with tourist woman over use of unlimited MetroCard: One person! One person only!
Tourist woman: I am only one person!

–W 103rd St

Guy: I like Bin Laden, you know? I like his style. Nobody can figure that motherfucker out. Hell, I’d wear a t-shirt with that motherfucker’s face on it. The snipers, they be tryin’ to find him and didn’t find shit. I give him mad credit. He bad ass.

–Post Office, 42nd between 8th & 9th

Overheard by: Babs Monroe

Redhead girl: Oh my god. I live in New Jersey!
Male friend: Hahaha!

–6 Train

Overheard by: my sympathies

Guido teen #1: I’m serious, you do not want to go to jail in Europe!
Guido teen #2: For reals — they’re, like, mad strict over there…
Guido teen #1: Damn…

–42nd St, Astoria

Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"?

–Dramatics Hair Salon

Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook!

–88th & 2nd

Overheard by: Sam H.

Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog.

–Bedford Ave

Overheard by: kayt

Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say.

–Classroom, NYU

Overheard by: Angela

Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything!

–MoMA

Overheard by: Cristina