Guido teen #1: I’m serious, you do not want to go to jail in Europe!
Guido teen #2: For reals — they’re, like, mad strict over there…
Guido teen #1: Damn…
–42nd St, Astoria
Guido teen #1: I’m serious, you do not want to go to jail in Europe!
Guido teen #2: For reals — they’re, like, mad strict over there…
Guido teen #1: Damn…
–42nd St, Astoria
Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"?
–Dramatics Hair Salon
Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook!
–88th & 2nd
Overheard by: Sam H.
Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog.
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: kayt
Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say.
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: Angela
Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything!
–MoMA
Overheard by: Cristina
Principal, over PA system: Attention: We are testing out the PA system. If you don't hear this, please call the office.
–Public School
Announcer on 6 train (which was being held at the station): Attention ladies and gentlemen. (pause) Does this thing even work?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Your Mom
Cop, over megaphone from patrol car: Attention people in the park, we think you are all drunk. Whether legally or illegally, please, vacate the area. (a few minutes later, after driving around the fountain) People in the fountain, don't think we can't see you…don't use stargazing as your excuse because there's too much light pollution!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: In the fountain
Conductor over PA: Attention passengers. Acts of pugilism are not allowed on this train.
(two minutes later) Attention passengers. This is just a reminder that acts of fornication or fellatio are not allowed on this train.
–Post Midnight Drunk Train, LIRR
Overheard by: Rob T Firefly
Nervous voice on building PA system: Can I have your attention, please? Can I have your attention, please? Please disregard this message.
–Third Ave & b/w 50th & 51st
Frat boy #1: Dude, let's get some pussy!
Frat boy #2: Where?
Frat boy #1: Use your GPS!
–4th St & MacDougal St
Wife: Oh yeah? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside?
Husband: We are outside.
Wife: Exactly.
–Circle Line Tour Pier
Coffee guy: Good morning, sir.
Sir: Medium coffee.
Coffee guy: Milk and sugar, sir?
Sir: Yes, please.
Coffee guy: …you go down, sir?
Sir: Excuse me?
Coffee guy: You go down? Down the town?
–Roach coach, Franklin & Church
Overheard by: Bailey Wier
Guy, about article on divorced lesbians: They are coming out all over.
Lady: It’s gotten so you are afraid to sit under a tree.
–Elevator, 1250 Broadway
Guy #1: Are people getting dumber or is it just me?
Guy #2: Both.
–6 Train
Girl #1: I believe in evolution and God.
Boy: What? That’s stupid. You believe that if a monkey walked into a forest he’d walk out as a human?
Girl #2: She doesn’t believe that, idiot. The monkey would have to stay in that forest for, like, 50 years for that to work!
–Elizabeth & Hester St
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
