Thug #1: Man, it’s Spiderman!
Thug #2: Ask him if he real.
Thug #3: If he’s real, why he be in front of Toys “R” Us, nigga?
Thug #2: I dunno — maybe he don’t got a movie to be in right now.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
Thug #1: Man, it’s Spiderman!
Thug #2: Ask him if he real.
Thug #3: If he’s real, why he be in front of Toys “R” Us, nigga?
Thug #2: I dunno — maybe he don’t got a movie to be in right now.
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
Chick #1: So, you transferred to CUNY-Hunter?
Chick #2: Yeah. My last school was making me stupid and drunk, and I can’t be a lawyer like that… Look at you, little big knuckles!
–Q train
Girl #1: Was he a virgin?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: I bet. He totally needed a new haircut.
–Uptown Lounge, 3rd Avenue
Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence.
–Union Square
Overheard by: braun bowery
Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous.
–Union Square
Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player.
–Union Square
Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village?
–Union Square
Overheard by: feitclub
Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control.
–Union Square
Overheard by: John
Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Joy Smoker
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
Guy: Hey, is this the train that stops at that museum?
Girl: Which museum? The art museum?
Guy: No, the other one with all the bones and dead animals.
Girl: Ew. Why would you wanna go someplace like that?
–C train
Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.
–Gold's Gym, 54th St
Overheard by: Johnny V
Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.
–1 Train
Overheard by: whirlygirlie518
White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.
–Chinatown
Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: D-Law
Customer getting tattooed: What's in that spray bottle?
Tattooer, holding bottle that says “soap” on it: Unicorn milk.
–13th Street
Overheard by: res
Blonde: I think I’m going to donate money to that thing George Clooney was talking about.
Friend: What?
Blonde: Darfur.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: betty machete
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
