Guy #1: I think I’d come in third.
Guy #2: Why third? Why not first or second?
Guy #1: I don’t know, I probably don’t have the biggest, but it isn’t the smallest either, so I figured third.
Guy #3: Wait, then whose dick do you think is the smallest?
Guy #1: I don’t fucking know! I just don’t think I have the smallest, so I’m sure I beat one of you motherfuckers.
Guy #4: Dude, sounds like you got a small dick.
–24th & Lexington
Overheard by: paul10003
Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone! She's hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl's friend: She's got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I've seen boobs before! Booo!
(later)
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl's friend: Leave her alone, she's hot!
Yankee fan: That's your opinion! Booo!
–Yankee Stadium
Lesbian chick #1: …so that’s why I’m in favor of putting birth control in the water.
Lesbian chick #2: How does that work?
Lesbian chick #1: What do you mean? You just put it in the water.
Lesbian chick #2: But what if they don’t go in the water?
Lesbian chick #1: …no, the drinking water.
Lesbian chick #2: Oh. That makes more sense. Sorry, I don’t know how those straight people do these things.
–F train
Girl: Hey, what’s this about?
Guy: Uh, it’s a documentary.
Girl: So they just march around?
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: JHA
Bewildered white woman: What? What’s “ashy”?
Put-Upon black woman: “Ashy”? You don’t know what “ashy” means? Like, “That crackhead is ashy”?
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: gloria
Teen girl #1: I have worn this shirt three times in my entire life, and every time I do she wears the exact same one.
Teen girl #2: That’s because she’s a slut.
–Poly Prep Country Day School, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Casey Ross
JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.
–Uptown W train
Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: it is what it is
African-American lady: The secret life of… What? Who's "bees"?
–Loews Kips Bay
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman: I'm a fruit fly. That's like a fag hag, only prettier.
–3rd & St. Mark's
Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here.
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: LP421
Big girl #1: But the President is not in charge of every state!
Big girl #2: No, but lemme tell you how it works. Cuz lotsa peoples don't know. The President make laws but he can't do nothing unless the Senate vetoes it. I was in political science.
–188th St & Hillside
