Knitting girl, about public speaking professor: She kept telling us we need to watch our diction. Meanwhile, she didn’t even tell us what ‘diction’ was.
Friend: What the hell is diction?
Knitting girl: I don’t even know.
–L platform, 8th Ave
Overheard by: Bethany
Guy: Snowboarding is better than skiing.
Girl: Yeah, I don’t think I would like skiing. I’m just not good at the whole keeping-my-legs-together thing.
–42st Station
Overheard by: BJ
Mother, pointing to a woman playing the musical saw: She is singing!
Son: No, She’s playing the saw.
Mother: There is an orchestra playing!
Son: It is a tape.
Mother: And she is singing?
Son. No. She is sawing.
Mother: What did you say?
Son: Go, have a look.
Mother: …….
Son: And?
Mother: It’s like singing.
Son: That’s it, the saw.
Mother: What a nice voice she has!
Son: She is not singing. It’s the saw that’s singing.
Mother: No way… She is singing into the saw?
Son: No, no singing. Just sawing.
Mother: But she is opening her mouth.
Son: She is breathing.
Mother: Are you sure she is not singing?
–Union Square subway station
A crazy man mutters to a girl walking by. She ignores him and keeps walking.
Crazy man: God kill all the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians. Kill the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians!
Woman on bench: Yeah, I’m sure it’s because she is a lesbian, and had has nothing to do with the fact that he has three combs stuck in his afro and smells like a dead goat.
–Columbus Circle station
Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.
–6 train
Guy: It's like August: Osage County, but with zombies.
–Manhattan Theatre Source
Overheard by: Emily B.
Girl: You know what they say: two in the bush, one in the wizard.
–Dorm, Pratt Institute
College student: Ghosts? They're like VT!
–186th St & Amsterdam
Black female suit on cell: Yeah, well you betta hope Tinkabell comes along… Or whoever the fuck it is who grants you ya damn wishes!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: emily d.
Annoyed man on cell walking down stairs: No, mom, I don't know what werewolves eat! No, mom, I don't! Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm going into the subway!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Overheard by: Masked Avenger
Mom: Don’t lean over the tracks like that.
Five-year-old son: I’m just looking for the train.
Mom: It’s dangerous, you could fall.
Five-year-old son: Daddy’s doing it. You’re not saying it to him.
Mom: I’m your mother, and I told you to stop. Daddy can do what he wants. [Boy sulks for a few minutes.] Okay, do you want to call Grandma when we get home so she can yell at Daddy for leaning over the tracks?
Five-year-old son: Yes.
–34th St subway platform
Hobo singing: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten. From the Battery to the top of Manhattan. [To transit worker] ‘Scuse me, sir. Where we at right now? Brooklyn? Queens? Manhattan?
Transit worker #1: We’re anywhere you wanna be, brother.
Hobo: What borough is this?
Transit worker #2: This is the Bronx.
Hobo: The Bronx?
Transit worker #1: The boogie down.
Hobo: The boogie woogie? [Walks away singing] Boogie woogie oogie ’til ya just can’t boogie no more…
Transit worker #2 to #1: If you just hopped into that train and drove it on time we wouldn’t have to watch him wander around the platform.
–1 train platform, 242nd St
Overheard by: Reggie Vikram
Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy!
–Grand Central
Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant!
–TGI Fridays
Overheard by: Sara
Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Hannah
Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex.
–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th
Overheard by: jmike
Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time!
–96th St station
Overheard by: Kind of Confused
20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Crazy man: Girl, you been married?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: You divorced?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: How many times you been married?
(teenager girl holds out five fingers)
Crazy man: Damn girl, I've only been married once and we're still together.
–Time Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Holly
