Hobo to teen girl with an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt: Fitch…Fitch… How can you wear a shirt like that? Multimillion dollars…when there's so many bigger problems? Stupid…stupid.
Girl: Um, excuse me?
Hobo: How much they pay you to wear that around?
Girl (with attitude): Four. Thousand. Dollars.
Hobo: I..
Girl (interrupting): An hour.
Hobo: Oh, okay, understandable.
–Central Park
Overheard by: heygirlhey
Teen dude: So you wouldn’t?
Teen girl: Hell no! I’d break up with any dude who’d had his cock torn off and reconstructed using part of his thigh! That shit ain’t natural.
Teen dude: That’s so shallow.
–Union Square
Teen girl #1: No, I don’t think I’ll be buying a chocolate vagina.
Teen girl #2: Why not?! It tastes like chocolate but looks like a vagina!
Teen girl #1: Okay… maybe.
–45th & Broadway
Drunk guy: Oh, kick that dart! I mean dog. I mean, is that a puppy? Oh, it’s a ball.
Teen boy: It’s a ball, are you blind?
–96th & Broadway
High school girl #1: Rachel*, do you really find that man attractive?
High school girl #2: His personality is perfect!
High school girl #1: He is 50 years old!
High school girl #2: So?
High school girl #3: Yeah, I second that: so what?
–Central Park
Headline by: Tom
Runners-Up:
· “His Money Doesn’t Look a Day Over 20” – Nik
· “Mr. Belding Only Got Better with Age” – RBNY
· “Now, Let’s Make a Pact to Be Impregnated by Him…” – T
· “Who Says Santa Can’t Be a Babe Magnet?” – Nael B
· “You Might Want to Check the Expiration Date on That Personality” – kenderbard
Teen #1: Where is Flushing-Main Street?
Teen #2: In the Bronx.
Teen #1: What's the Bronx?
Teen #2: It's one of the five boroughs. You know: Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island…and some other one.
Suit: Oh god, I'm out of here.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ashamed to be from the
Teen guy: Everyone’s out to get me; that guy just gave me the dirtiest look.
Teen girl: You retard, that guy was blind.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Chelsea Bridge
Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.
–Uptown NY Tour Bus
Teen boy #1: Heather got raped.
Teen boy #2: What?
Teen boy #1: She got drunk and he took advantage of her. She told me. She got curvy lips, though.
–Brooklyn Public Library
Overheard by: caitlin
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
