But They’ll Never Spread For You

Guy: Lady, you got great legs.
Lady: I’m a lesbian!
Guy: Okay, you’re a lesbian who got great legs.
Lady: Oh…well, thanks.

–57th & Park

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on August 11, 2022
Body Parts, Lesbians, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Queers, Sex & Relationships, Topics

Yet They Won’t Have Useless Diplomas

Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: clari

Posted on July 23, 2022
Business and Commerce, College, Druggies, Education, Girls, Guys, Manhattan, Money & Class, People, Places, Politics, President, Rumor Has It, Topics, Washington Heights and Inwood

They Walked–A Lot

Chick: I can never understand how Native Americans stayed in such great shape, and still smoked as much as they did.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: m-co

Posted on June 7, 2022
College, Drugs, Fitness, Fordham, Health and Hygiene, Native Americans, People, Places, School, Smokers & Smoking, Topics, Venues

Does FHM Give You Hep-A, Too?

Maxim staff #1: Yeah, we’re going to make you walk around in a plastic bubble or something.
Maxim staff #2: …NO, that is not THE RIGHT KIND of herpes!
Maxim staff #3: Is there a RIGHT kind of herpes?

–Midtown elevator

Posted on March 31, 2022
Elevators, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, STDs, Topics, Venues

He’s Taking Over Howard Hughes’ Old Job

Man: Hey, I finally got that promotion!
Woman: Oh my god, congratulations! High five!
Man: Don’t touch me.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aaliyah Leuschner

Posted on October 2, 2021
Insults, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Men, People, Places, Times Square, Topics, Women

That Old Line Again

Girl #1: I just got waxed. Feel my legs, they’re sooo soft.
Girl #2: Ooohhh. Sooo smooth.
Girl #1: Yeah, you should feel my cooch.

–Columbia University

Posted on September 8, 2021
Body Parts, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Places, Private Parts, Topics, Vagina

You Would Not Have Wanted to Be Awake For What We Did to You

Girl #1: What’s up?
Girl #2: Still recovering from last night.
Girl #1: It wasn’t that bad.
Girl #2: What? I passed out and woke up naked in the club.
Girl #1: See, I told you.

–Internet cafe, 63rd Drive, Queens

Overheard by: Interested Listener

Posted on August 6, 2021
Bars & Clubs, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Nudity, People, Places, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Topics, Venues

Of Course, I Missed Like Every Science Class Ever

Hipster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hipster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every science class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hipster girl: It has something to do with bells and drool, I’m not really sure.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Tres Chic