TV

Cop #1: We wouldn’t have so much crime here if Law & Order was set somewhere else. I mean, they’re just giving people ideas, and making them think it’s entertaining.
Cop #2: Uh huh. And the show also makes people think the force is full of skilled, competent officers.
Cop #1: I guess I object to that, too.

–John’s Pizza, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Jebediah
Headline by: Nick

Runners-Up:
· “As Do The Tourists Who Expect Him to Help When They’re Being Mugged” – Sinead
· “But The Worst Part Is, When Lenny Makes A Joke About A Corpse Everyone Thinks It’s Adorable, But When I Do It I Get Some Bitch Widow Calling Me Insensitive” – Kate
· “His remote’s in his holster and his TV is broken.” – Nick
· “I guess Vincent D’Onofrio is skilled, if by skilled you mean unbearable to watch” – that guy
· “I’m more of a Village People Cop than a Law & Order Cop” – ak
· “If the Sci-Fi Channel folded, we wouldn’t have so many alien invasions, either” – Matthew
· “If they brought back Cop Rock, this job would be a cake walk” – tony ska
· “It’s moments like these that make me wish I was set somewher else” – Jenina
· “Wow I was always saying that wrong. So it’s *Life* imitates *Art*?” – srednivashtar
· “You should have seen this town when “Naked City” was on.” – J. A. G.

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Intern #1: So I was watching this thing on TV about Nelson Mandela.
Intern #2: I don’t remember him.
Intern #1: He’s famous.
Intern #2: Oh yeah, didn’t he used to be a host on MTV?

–59th & Lex

Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!

–1 train

Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!

–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!

–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn

Overheard by: elwood

Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.

–Queens Center Mall

Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.

–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square

Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Melissa

Long Island mother: It’s so sad about the kidnapped Israeli solider.
8-year-old son: Yeah, when are they going to send Jack Bauer into Gaza to save him?

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: jewish boy

New Yorker: Coney Island is fun if you like that stuff. I mean, there’s a lot of nationalities down there so their accents are all…They talk like the Sopranos. Do you know about the Sopranos?
Tourist: Um.

–R Train, 28th St

Overheard by: Nick McDowell

Girl: He took me to a Japanese restaurant. I got the chicken karaoke.

–78th & Broadway

Overheard by: E HAGEN

20-Something girl: So, is Alabama in Kentucky?

–27th & 1st

Overheard by: interlard

Early-20’s woman: The Himalayas aren’t a real place. They’re like Narnia.

–1st & 1st

Ghetto girl: In British Whose Line Is It Anyway?, do they speak English?

–75th St

Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!

–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St

Overheard by: Alison R.

Skinny JAP: Omgosh! Let’s go watch the World Cup! Like, we’ll see witchcraft…magic…stuff.
Fat JAP: Oh yeah, totally. That stuff from Harry Potter.

–Greenwich & North Moore

Overheard by: Alyson Leigh

Quasi-thug #1: So if I got the first season, you would watch it with me?
Quasi-thug #2: Fuck yeah. It’s the fucking Golden Girls, yo.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: djlindee

Girl: I did, I saw Uma Thurman in Les Mis.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis.
Girl: Not on stage, on TV.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis on TV.
Girl: I thought it was her, or someone else with that cross-eyed look.

–42nd & 8th