Bro #1: I mean, you can't turn that down.
Bro #2: Right, you can't turn that down! I mean, she had boobs!
–University Place & North Washington Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Bro #1: I mean, you can't turn that down.
Bro #2: Right, you can't turn that down! I mean, she had boobs!
–University Place & North Washington Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Nerdy guy: I don't understand what the significance of the number 69 is. Can someone explain it to me?
Girl: You go to NYU and you don't know that?
(nerdy guy shakes his head)
Girl: To put it bluntly, it's two people giving each other head.
Nerdy guy: Wait, but what does that mean?
Girl: Oh my god…I can't tell you that now. You're the most innocent guy here. It would be like killing a unicorn.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
MTA employee high-fiving another: That's why I always wear my uniform to court. I ain't no thug; I ain't no criminal; I work for the City of New York!
–127th & Lenox
Female suit to friend: Welcome to New York. Have a good day somewhere else.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Hey, I like New York.
Crazy bag lady to parents of babbling toddler: Shut your fucking kid up! If you want PC, this isn't the fucking place!
–AirTrain to Jamaica
Barista: I keep forgetting that "New York" doesn't equal "World."
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
Girl on cell: A blood draw, a pelvic exam, and a shot in the ass all on the same day… Yeah, well, it is New York.
–Lafayette & Franklin
College guy #1: So then I was like: “Whoa, that's a giant fucking bunny.”
College guy #2: Dude, are you high?
College guy #1: …yeah
College guy #2: Wanna go to the zoo?
College guy #1: Do they have bunnies?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Angel
College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.
–Lincoln Center
Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.
–LaGuardia & Washington Square South
Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.
–Spring St & Mott St
Overheard by: Nick Caylor
NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.
–Mercer & Waverly
Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…
–82nd & Lexington
Married girl: Which means I can't have kids for another seven years!
Single guy: I didn't even know you guys were already planning on having kids.
Married guy: I didn't know either.
–Washinton Square
Male NYU student #1: I find myself oddly attracted to Diane Keaton.
Male NYU student #2: that's pretty gross, dude.
(pause)
Male NYU student #2: Wait, isn't she a lesbian?
Male NYU student #1: Nah, I think that's Jodie Foster.
(pause)
Male NYU student #2: Yeah, that's pretty gross, dude.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Junkballer
Drunk hobo #1 (in response to young person playing the guitar): Woohoo!
Drunk hobo #2: Why do you always have to be like that? It’s woo… hoo… Not woohoo!
–Washington Square Park
Hobo with two jars in front of him: Food or drugs! Choose whether you’d like to sponsor my evening shot or dinner!
–Central Park
Homeless man: Hey, bindi-a, lookin’ good today! (Indian girl ignores his comment, begins to walk away). Fine! When you get mugged, I’m not helping you!
–Washington Square Park
Enterprising lady hobo: You could use your credit card to get cash, and give me the cash.
–Outside Dunkin’ Donuts, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Panhandling hobo: Spare some change for a large bottle of water and a nice Chef salad? Spare some change for bottled water and salad?
–Broadway & 10th St
Hobo: Hey lemme borrow those red Converse! I’ve got a hot date with Monica Lewinsky tonight!
–14th & 6th
Hobo to another: "You’re gonna turn me into a waffle?" That’s what she told me, you said! A waffle? Oh no, I don’t think so!
–23rd b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: sara
Crazy hobo: Watch out for traffic and knuckleheads! Beware! (points at random pedestrian) Him! He’s a knucklehead! Don’t trust him!
–5th Ave & 49th St
(hobo runs through bushes, unzipping pants, mumbling. Cop follows him)
Hobo runs back, zipping up pants: Building structures building structures!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: KidUgly
