Wednesday One-Liners Are Next to Godliness

Preppy girl to friend: Do you ever shower and shower and still not feel clean?

–Broadway b/w 112th & 113th

Overheard by: Ladle

Young thug to two women: Yo, you make me wanna take a shower.

–Penn Station

Large bald guy with shopping bag with laundry detergent in it: I got this bag at Foot Locker. Know what I am going to do with it? I am going to put laundry detergent in it. Isn't that a good idea?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Nathan

20-something guy to another: Dude, there's no way I'm tossing a salad unless I know–with absolute fucking certainty–its been freshly washed.

–Washington Square

Young woman on cell: And then he physically got in the shower with me…again!

–Spring St & Crosby St

Posted on March 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cleanliness, Columbia University, Friends, Girls, Guys, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, Parks, Penn Station, Preppies, Questions, Shopping, Soho, Stupidity, Thugs, Vegetarian & Vegan, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

The One Who Never Fought for His Country

Four-year-old girl: Daddy, why is it called Washington Square Park?
Father: It was named after George Washington.
Four-year-old girl: Wait…but I thought he was bad!
Father: No, that's George Bush.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Emilia

Posted on March 9, 2009
Dads, History & Geography, Kids, Names, Parks, President, Questions, Washington Square Park

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Lot to Swallow

Suit on cell: I've already had a blow job tonight so I don't really care what happens.

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman

Lady suit to other: What about 1994? I haven't sucked cock or watched ice hockey since 1994!

–Lion's Head, 109th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: A great man

Toothless thug: And now she wants an award for sucking my dick.

–7th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: mattamore

Guy on cell: Look, I'm about to get on the train and lose signal so I'll sum up my argument: until I can pull out my dick and get a blowjob from any woman I want, my grudge against feminists stands. No, I don't care if it doesn't make sense. Fuck you, I'm getting on the train!

–Penn Station

Old woman to husband: Now isn't she the girl who gave him head in the Port Authority bathroom?

–Bench, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Horrified

Girl to two hipster friends with yoga mats: Oh my god, he had to stop me while I was sucking on his dick just to tell me he likes me. Like why? Ew, why would he bother?

–Avenue B & 13th

Posted on February 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Couples, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Penn Station, Politics, Public Transportation, Questions, Sports, Street, Suits, Thugs, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Especially Right After She Takes It Out of His Ass

Girlfriend: Oh man, this soda tastes like my foot!
Boyfriend: How do you know what your foot tastes like? It could be delicious.
Girlfriend: Why do you always have to contradict me? I think it's a pretty accurate guess that my foot would not be too appetizing, Christ!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on December 23, 2008
Body Parts, Couples, Drinks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Washington Square Park

Yeah? Just Keep Your Force to Yourself, Then.

Girl: You have a rubber, right?
Guy (in Darth Vader voice): I find your lack of faith disturbing…

–Washington Square Park

Posted on December 7, 2008
Girls, Guys, Movies, Questions, Washington Square Park

Yo' Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!

Sleazy biker, taking a bottle from marathon relief table: My mother always told me I should be bottle-fed.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Uncomfortable volunteer

NYU student on cell, angrily: I was trying to show your mom a good time so I wouldn't have to stick my dick in her again!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: chris k.

Guido on cell: So you fucked the mother *and* the daughter?

–23rd & 3rd

Guy to girl: Anything over 50 is a super milf!

–Chelsea

Teen to friend: Cause I ain't no full-time mama. I'm a part-time mama.

–Church & Chambers

Middle aged hipster with ponytail and gray streaked goatee: I'm a soccer mom!

–Times Square

Posted on November 26, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Athletes, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinks, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Guidos, Guys, Hipsters, MILF, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Penis, Promiscuity, Sex, Street, Students, Stupidity, Teens, Times Square, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Should We Call the Better Business Bureau?

Guy #1, sitting on bench looking at own hand: This isn't LSD, these are…pieces of cardboard, that guy just ripped me off.
Guy #2, sitting next to him: Lemme eat one, we'll see.

–Washignton Square

Overheard by: guthrie

Posted on November 21, 2008
Fakes, Guys, Hard Drugs, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

It Was More Like Three and a Half

NYU undergrad girl #1: No, I did not have sex with him five hours after you did!
NYU undergrad girl #2: Whatever…

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Glad not still in college

Posted on November 17, 2008
Sloppy Seconds, Students, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Mr. Yankovic's Wednesday One-Liners

Random white male on cell: People thought I was weird as shit in high school… Cause I hung out with all the black people!

–Washington Square Park

Uptown girl: This place is…this is weird.

–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Emily B.

Girl: She was weird. She had, like, a Midwestern accent or something. I think she was from Maine.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Tattooed 20-something girl: He's such a weirdo; I had to ask six times for his urine.

–J Train

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Chick on cell: He's had his dick in me, but I worry it would be out of line to Facebook friend him. Modern life is so weird.

–Columbia University

Posted on October 29, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Biotechs, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Facebook, Girls, Idiots, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Penis, Race, Rich people, School and studying, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

So Just Cut Out the Gay Sex, Guys

Girl #1: I can't believe John lets that guy fuck him in his ass…I mean, he's got to have hemorrhoids.
Girl #2: I know, I hate hemorrhoids, you really got to guard against that shit.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Atrain

Posted on October 18, 2008
Advice, Backdoor, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Washington Square Park