The Village Bicycle’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know!

–Outside 145th subway station

Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore!

–45th & 8th

College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?"

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: silvver

Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities!

–72nd and Amsterdam

Overheard by: Vincent

Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho."

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars?

–Bergen and Smith

Posted on October 8, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Hipsters, Holidays, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Native Americans, Offers and requests, On Cell, One Night Stand, Parents, Promiscuity, Prostitution, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Dear Bonnie, I Just Had to Write

Queer: Yeah, and then she started getting letters telling her how ugly she was…
Fruit flies: Oooh!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Must have been pretty f’ing ugly

Posted on September 11, 2015
Beauty, Fag Hags, Queer guys, Threats, Violence, Washington Square Park

“Stop throwing my hat in the air!”

Girl: I mean, I was rivaling Mary Tyler Moore in her peak for cuteness, and he didn’t even look at me.
Guy: I would totally freeze-frame you, if it’s any consolation.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Colin Hartnett

Posted on September 3, 2015
About Celebrities, Friends, Gender issues, TV, Washington Square Park

You Can’t Smoke It, Though

Idiot girl #1: Cloves taste so good!
Idiot guy: Yeah, I hear they are toasted or something.
Idiot girl #2: Oh, I love toast!

–33 Washington Square West

Posted on August 12, 2015
Default, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Sensory Experiences, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Stupidity, Washington Square Park

Television is Always the Best Answer

Guy: What do you give a baby who is blind and deaf?
Girl: Television?
Guy: Cancer…Television’s a better answer.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: Elizabeth Benefiel

Posted on August 12, 2015
Babies, Cancer, Friends, Washington Square Park

Isn’t It Time You Talked to Your Kids About Wednesday One-Liners?

Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?

–Chambers &and West Broadway

Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.

–W 46th Ave

Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!

–West 4th at Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Cory

Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.

–Relish Bar & Grill

Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.

–Arlene’s Grocery

Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!

–14th St & 9th Ave

Posted on August 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Buddha, Compare/Contrast, Creepsters, Drugs, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hard Drugs, Heroin, History & Geography, Homeless, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Names, Physical appearance, Preppies, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

If You Give Them Too Much Attention, the Terrorists Win

Girlfriend, pointing at the base of a tree: Look! Look! There’s a rat and a squirrel fighting!
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend: Yes there is! Look! There’s a fucking rat attacking that squirrel!
Boyfriend: Shhhh. Don’t talk about the rats. Don’t pay attention to them.
Girlfriend, pointing at passerby: Look at her, she saw them! She knows what I’m talking about.
Boyfriend: Ignore the rats.

–Washington Square Park East

Posted on August 7, 2015
Advice, Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Default, Fighting and ass kicking, Girlfriends, Offers and requests, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Um, Guys, That’s a Stoner in a Bathrobe

Orthodox man #1, seeing man walk by dressed as Jesus: Jesus! [He and his posse begin to chase Jesus.]Orthodox man #2: You are not the son of God!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on August 3, 2015
God Squad, Jesus, Religion, Washington Square Park

You're Scaring Jean-Luc

Excited bro #1: Dude! There it is! There's the dog I was talking about!
Excited bro #2: You were right! It's so big! It's like a horse! I want to sit on it!
Man with Great Dane: Stop following me!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on August 3, 2015
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Height, Man's Best Friend, Men, Parks, Washington Square Park, Weirdness