Wednesday One-Liners Support a Woman's Right to Shoes

Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.

–Queens Boulevard

Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.

–85th & Columbus

Overheard by: cisium

Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!

–PATH

Overheard by: Best line I heard all night

Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!

–2nd Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz

Posted on January 21, 2015
Body Parts, Compliments, Drunks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, On Cell, Queens, Questions, Shoes, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weather, Women

The Bus Bears a Resemblence

Old lady: Oh the sun is out! Do you think it’s gonna rain again today?
Bus driver: Do I look like Al Roker to you? I drive a freakin’ bus!

–Bx9 bus

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on January 1, 2015
Bus Drivers, Old People, On the Bus, Weather

The Wednesday One-Liner Monologues

Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?

–110th & Amsterdam

Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!

–50th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Matt

Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.

–NYU

Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.

–Archbold Theater

Overheard by: nice

Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze

Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?

–55th St & 8th

Posted on December 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, Laughter, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Not New York, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penis, Questions, Students, Theater, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weather, Women

Speaking Of the Filth Of Humanity…

Whiny old man: I hate the cold. I get so cold I hafta take a hot shower every night. How 'bout you?
Old woman: Well, Eddy, you're supposed to take showers all the time.
Whiny old man: How about that OJ Simpson?

–B3 Bus

Overheard by: Laura E.

Posted on December 22, 2014
About Celebrities, Bus, Cleanliness, Gripes, Men, Old People, On the Bus, Questions, Weather, Women

The Two Personality Types

Woman #1: It's a beautiful day outside.
Woman #2: I need to find a bathroom.

–Varick & Carmine

Posted on December 19, 2014
Beauty, Weather, Weirdness, West Village, Women

The Real Reason the Israelites Left

Ghetto store employee #1: Yo, they got people in Egypt?
Ghetto store employee #2: Yeah, they got Pizza Hut an everything. Right across the street from the pyramids an shit.
Ghetto store employee #1: Why they be eatin pizza? It’s hot in the desert they ain’t got to be eatin no hot pizza!

–Mass Produced Clothing Store, SoHo

Posted on November 13, 2014
9 to 5-ers, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Global Geography, Pizza, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Soho, Store, Travel, Weather

Lose and You Compete in the Special Olympics

B&T guy: Did you get home okay in the snow last night?
B&T girl: Yeah, but drinking and driving should be an Olympic sport!
B&T guy: That’s why you should’ve just smoked.

–Manahatta, Bowery

Overheard by: Andrew Gamache