Who's Gonna Hold Wednesday's Hair While She One-Liners?

Self-tanned woman on BlackBerry, pushing stroller: I'm gonna puke because you're not here with me!

–American Eagle

Overheard by: liveyourlife

Cheerful woman on cell: Oh yeah, I been getting mad nauseous on this bus! But I ain't putting my face near that toilet back there, nuh-uh. I'd rather get sick all over myself.

–Chinatown Bus to DC

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy waiting for n train: I just want to fucking go home and puke in my own fucking toilet!

–Canal St & Broadway

Woman: I come out of the bathroom after three hours of him barfing, and people think we were having sex! You think I'm that hot at 46 to go shag my boy in the middle of a party? And even if I were, I would have been gone for, what? Like, ten minutes? Max!

–Time Warner Building

Girl to friends: I definitely think gay vomit would be the prettiest.

–Perry & Bleecker

Overheard by: other contenders?

Posted on October 7, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Hook Ups, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Time, Vomit, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

I've Realized It's What Jesus Would Do.

Young woman #1: Yeah, I'm trying to avoid root vegetables.
Young woman #2: You're avoiding root vegetables?!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Posted on October 6, 2009
Food, Lower East Side, Questions, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Women

Why Do You Think We Named You “Kleenex,” Sweetie?

Toddler, as mom wipes her hand on him: Ew! What was that?
Mother: Love.
Toddler: Gross!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: aida

Posted on October 6, 2009
Kids, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Parents, Questions, Weirdness

A Lesson the Royal Family Has Yet to Learn

Guy #1: So how are things going with your new girlfriend?
Guy #2: Dude–she's not my girlfriend. We're just fucking. And, like… I don't know. She's been acting really weird.
Guy #1: Weird like what?
Guy #2: I don't know! Whatever, man. I guess she and I were better off as siblings.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: …that's what she said?

Posted on October 5, 2009
Family Ties, Guys, Hook Ups, Incest, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Weirdness

Cue Pat Benatar

Girlfriend: I just don't get people.
Boyfriend: I love you.
Girlfriend, panicked: No, you don't!
Boyfriend: But I do!
Girlfriend, walking away mumbling: I just do not get people!

–Central Park

Posted on October 4, 2009
Boyfriends, Central Park, Fears, Girlfriends, Love, Parks, Relationships, Weirdness

What About a Light High Five?

Creepy 20-something: Hey, ma, come here a sec.
Teenage girl tourist: Uh… what?
Creepy 20-something: Please. Please… just hold me. Just hold me for a second.
Teenage girl tourist: Oh. No. I'm just gonna… no.

–Canal Street

Posted on October 4, 2009
Creepsters, Hugs, Offers and requests, Teens, Tourism, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

New Yorkers Are Too Cool to Acknowledge Them, Anyway

Woman #1: I see stars.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1, sadly: And you know what… I don't want to see stars anymore.

–13th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on October 4, 2009
Astronomy, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

She's Such a Troll

Crazy teacher to little kids getting off train: People! We cannot convene in this manner! Do not stand around like a herd of goats!
Sane teacher: Did she just say “goats”?

–F Train

Overheard by: Afraid for the State of Education