Asian girl #1: Ew, I don't like the taste of beer.
Asian girl #2: Yeah, but if you don't drink beer and get used to the taste, people will date-rape you.
–Q Train
Overheard by: quesito
Asian girl #1: Ew, I don't like the taste of beer.
Asian girl #2: Yeah, but if you don't drink beer and get used to the taste, people will date-rape you.
–Q Train
Overheard by: quesito
Scruffy American to tourist dudes: We could always just go cruising.
German #1: What is “cruising”?
Scruffy American: It's when you, like, drive around in a car slowly and yell things out the window.
German #2: Like what?
Scruffy American: Like “nice ass!”
German #2: Okay!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: MikeG
Guy: I'm hanging with Ray tonight. You know Ray?
Girl: Yeah, I know him! I used to sit on his face!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Rocco
Little kid to father: Can you let go of my hand for a little?
Father to kid, dead serious: Why, are you going to try to run away?
Little kid: Yes.
–West Village
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Man on phone: Wait, so she bit you? Dude! Wait, what? She punched you? Oh, you went to punch her? Dude, you punched her?
–Penn Station
Too young for final stage alcoholism guy: I totally held my own. I knocked the girl out and fucked the guy up.
–10th St & Ave A
Gangster: Next time I see him, I'ma kick him in his good leg.
–Uptown F Train
Softball-player-looking girl to friends: If you ever wear a tiara at your wedding, I'm going to punch you in the face.
–Wagner Park
Overheard by: mclaire
Young mother to others: Yeah, but you hafta be careful. You can't just hit your kids in public.
–Rivington & Essex
Overheard by: verbal abuse ftw!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: But if I punch you in the throat you will stop breathing.
–SoHo
Teen girl: Did you see that? I almost punched Ira's glass in the chest! That was awesome!
–AMC Theater, 19th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katie
Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!
–Public Restroom, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Slydell
Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Kári Emil
Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator
Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.
–Penn Station
Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.
–2 Train
Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Nathan
20-something blonde #1: So what do they have you doing there all day?
20-something blonde #2: Well, let's just say I could probably be a professional “white-outer”.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Nauseous
Teen guy: It smells like diarrhea.
Teen girl: Yeah, after someone fucked it.
Teen guy: It smells all sugary and sweet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jennie
Shop attendant: Do you need help?
Customer: Oh… In many, many ways…
–Candy Store, SoHo
Overheard by: rutger
