Guy #1: I think I might be in love with her.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: It's just I don't know if she loves me,
Guy #2: What'd she say?
Guy #1: Oh, I haven't spoken to her yet.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hadley
Guy #1: I think I might be in love with her.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: It's just I don't know if she loves me,
Guy #2: What'd she say?
Guy #1: Oh, I haven't spoken to her yet.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hadley
Girl #1, smoking: She was such a lesbian. She made vegetable lasagna. Vegetable lasagna!
Girl #2, in disbelief: Wait–so her culinary choices dictate her sexuality?
Girl #1: Well, then she fingered me.
–Zombie Hut, Smith St
Overheard by: double d
Female college student on cell: Sorry, there was an incident. She was eating string cheese, and I told her she looked like a walrus. So she tried to smack me in the face but she couldn't, and I ran into the bathroom. So she tried to hit me with the string cheese, but I was like your string cheese will get all fuzzy. So she smacked me in the face with the cheese.
–Penn Station
Girl on phone: And then I stuck a string cheese in the microwave. Yeah, in the wrapper.
–57th & 7th
Sexy guy, looking at orchestra program description of movement "con brio": Does that mean "with cheese"?
–Camerata Notturna Concert, W. 57th St
Overheard by: Ladle
Older European woman to another: She's fine with the reference to cheese. I mean, she can eat cheese, just not the real kind.
–Union Square
Hipster: So she writes everything down in her cheese diary…
–Bedford & 4th
Pillow fighting girl to pillow fighting guy: Oh my gosh! Is that blood on your pillow?
Pillow fighting guy: No, I think I just hit a clown.
–NYC Pillow Fight 2009, Wall Street
Overheard by: Glory
Girl #1: Oh my god! I can't believe my mom only got a B+ on my history paper.
Girl #2: Well, I can't believe your mom does your schoolwork and writes your papers for you. Don't you ever feel guilty?
Girl #1: Umm…no. Since she's, like, paying for my college and stuff, then it's only fair that she gets to do the work.
–SoHo
Drunk-looking girl on cell: … And I just received a postcard of butts! Things are looking up!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Ladle
Angry soccer mom: Whoever has his or her hand on my ass, you better be one of my kids.
–Staten Island Ferry
Chick on cell: Ew! Ass striations?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
College girl: I slept at Steve’s dorm. Needless to say, my ass cleared every surface he had in that room. Twice.
–Downtown B Train
Overheard by: Pola
Tall guy on cell: Listen, if you want a white woman to show you her ass all you gotta do is pull out a camera. They drop their panties in a second, at least that’s what I tell the committee.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Conductor over loudspeaker: Aaaand next stop… Yo’ mama’s ass!
–F Train from Queens
Overheard by: Tina K
Stranger #1: Now we're movin'! Now we be cookin' with grease!
Stranger #2: What kind? Saturated or unsaturated?
Stranger #1: The kind where you just drop somebody in and fry their ass.
Stranger #2: Oh, I'm not into cannibalism.
–Line, Credit Union, 9th & 31st
Overheard by: bored in a bank
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
Girl: My job is terrible.
Guy: Gimme a break, my job is so bad I wanna kill anyone who even looks at me…and half of the people who don't.
Girl: Okay, you win.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Dustin
20-something girl in full Luna Lovegood costume waiting to see Harry Potter, pointing to girl with mohawk: Jeez, their are some real weirdos in New York.
Friend, dressed as Snape: Yeah, real creeps.
–Movie Theater, Park Slope
