Women

Middle-aged woman to 20-something guy hand-rolling a cigarette: You know, it looks like you're rolling a joint there.
Guy, laughing: Little early in the day for that, don't you think?
Middle-aged woman: Not for me.

–49th St & Madison Ave

Woman: I saw your twin! I looked up and there was this guy who looked just like you!
Man, feigning enthusiasm: Really? Was he bald and everything? Fat and short?

–32nd St & Madison Ave

Man: You're how old?
Woman: 50.
Man: Wow! You age like a Chinaman!
Woman: What?
Man: Well, a Chinawoman… Umm, you age well
Woman: Thanks?

–Brooklyn

Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?

–42nd St

Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?

–Lafayette & Spring

Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?

–96th St & Lexington

Overheard by: great standards

Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!

–47th & 3rd

Old British man: I would take New York over any city.
American woman: Even England?

–87th & 2nd

Curator: These were done in live performances. Yves Klein actually used bodies to create these pieces!
Woman: Oh my god!
Curator, smiling: Yeah.
Woman, with horrified expression: Dead bodies!?
Curator: No, live people. (proceeds to laugh awkwardly)

–MoMA

Overheard by: Sarah

Girl to friend: He's Indian! How can he be homeless?

–Union Square

Crazy Asian lady: I think everyone should experience jail and being homeless at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.

–Pinkberry, 32nd St

Suit, screaming: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these homeless people. They have a perfect life. Free samples at every corner. Apple Store is open 24/7, which means good shelter. Gahh!

–Union Square

Overheard by: hespeakstruth

Flamboyantly elegant gay guy to female friend: Would you rather lick this entire subway platform or have a homeless woman eat your pussy?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Katie

Woman: You know what movie I just saw? Superbad.
Man: I saw that movie with my father's family. On the day of my grandmother's funeral.

–Brooklyn

Woman to thug: I don't care if you fuck other bitches. Fuck whoever you want!
Thug: Baby…
Woman: Seriously. Fuck until your dick falls off. I don't care.

–1 Train

Man: I've walked to the store enough for her. (pause) And look, I get to the top of the hill and she's nowhere in sight. What the fuck?
Woman: What the fuck? WTH?
Man: It's “F.”
Woman: What?

–Frederick Douglass Boulevard