Woman: You know what movie I just saw? Superbad.
Man: I saw that movie with my father's family. On the day of my grandmother's funeral.
–Brooklyn
Woman: You know what movie I just saw? Superbad.
Man: I saw that movie with my father's family. On the day of my grandmother's funeral.
–Brooklyn
Woman to thug: I don't care if you fuck other bitches. Fuck whoever you want!
Thug: Baby…
Woman: Seriously. Fuck until your dick falls off. I don't care.
–1 Train
Man: I've walked to the store enough for her. (pause) And look, I get to the top of the hill and she's nowhere in sight. What the fuck?
Woman: What the fuck? WTH?
Man: It's “F.”
Woman: What?
–Frederick Douglass Boulevard
Woman to dogs, while passing two teens kissing against a building: Let's go, doggies, you don't need to see that.
Teen girl: Excuse me?
–71st St & West End
Overheard by: how rude
20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!
–1 Train
Girl on iPhone: It's not like he's gone and, y'know, rescuing cheetahs…
–Astoria
Lone hobo: Thanks, god… for goats, people and buses.
–Manhattan Bridge
Woman on phone: Hi, honey. Did you find the frogs with the red eyes? (pause) Oh, do you think your mom will like the quail? (pause) It's 30% off, right?
–Lincoln Center
Subway drummer: This next one is called "moose call." it goes, "yo, moose!" (pause) Hey, I didn't write it, I just made it popular.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Media addict
French man: It's like doing a horse. Kick him in the ass and he will kick you right back.
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman: What are you listening to? Can you hear me? I'm talking to you.
Guy rocking out to his music: Oh yeah! Soundgarden. So good! Listen. (hands her earphone)
Woman: Oh, I must know some other Soundgarden. (hands back earphone)
Guy, still rocking out: This is the best! It's great to have sex to!
Woman: Ew! I can't believe you just said that. Can you hear me? You can't hear me. Fuck you! Yeah, I said it.
Guy, not hearing her: I love syncopated riffs!
–Downtown 1 Train
Horribly dressed woman at kebab stand, holding her wallet: So, you wanna see my kids or what?!
–28th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Ren
Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you.
–Doctor's Waiting Room
Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny
Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks!
–6 Train
Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year!
–Madison Square Park
Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks.
–Coney Island
Irritated tourist mother to baffled seven-year-old daughter: Your father is such a fuckin' dickwad! And let me tell you–he wasn't even inspired the night we made you.
–Times Square
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Guy on cell: I haven't talked to my dad in over three years, and this morning he friended me on Facebook.
–1st Ave & 89th Street
Overheard by: Citats
Guy on cell: Well, I wouldn't say I have the best relationship with my father, no. Umm… Well, for example, if he answers the phone when I call the house he says "Oh. Hey, failure."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Olivia
Woman on cell to friend: Uh-huh girl, I brought William to his donors' house and he didn't want to watch him. I said "William, William, say goodbye to your donor because he don't wanna watch you today."
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Upper East Side girl at brunch with girlfriends: I need to find a new apartment because when I do the walk of shame I keep running into my dad.
–80th St & 2nd Ave
