A Similar Situation Occurred When Bush Left the White House

Woman, in line for bathroom: Is there actually anyone in the bathroom?
Man in front of her: Yeah.
Woman: Did someone die in there?
Man: I think the next person might.

–Starbucks, 2nd Ave & 9th St

Overheard by: the dead guy's girlfriend

Headline by: Nick Pollotta

Runners-Up:
· “Am I the Only One Fighting the Urge to Make a “Crappuccino” Joke Right Now?” – lauren beth
· “I’ve Heard a Lot Of Screaming From Inside” – KMW
· “Let’s Use the Bathroom Of the Starbuck’s Next Door” – Coyoty
· “M. Night Shyamalan Finally Hits Rock Bottom” – Nick Pollotta
· “Starbucks’ Experiment With a Grande Broccoli and Bean Chai Latte Ended Then and There” – Chris
· “Stephen King Is Running Out Of Material” – JohnAustin
· “The Birth Of the “Ladies First” Concept” – Morning Glory

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on March 30, 2009
Death, Headline Contest Winners, Men, Questions, Starbucks, Strangers, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

Sorry Babe, I'm Keeping the “X” in “Xmas”

Man whore on cell: So for Christmas, I'm going to that strip club I met Susan at…just to do something special, ya know.
Religious woman: Because nothing says “I love my savior” like topless sluts and lap dances.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jasper

Posted on March 29, 2009
Central Park, Dancing, God Squad, Jesus, Men, Strippers, Women

Ah, the Sounds Of the City…

Fundraising man: Donate just one penny, one penny can make a difference…
Woman passing by: Well then put yer own damn penny in it!

–5th & 57th

Overheard by: jen

Posted on March 26, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Only in New York, Street, Women

Half Of the City Has That Excuse, Ma'am.

Hobo, opening door for ATM users: Hey, girl. Remember the homeless. Give money to the homeless.
Woman, leaving ATM and walking out the door: No. I just got fired.

–Citibank, 16th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on March 26, 2009
Bank, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hobos, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Panhandling, Women

Take a Wednesday One-Liner. It'll Last Longer.

Woman to friend: Wait till I show you the pictures. He looked so good in the coffin…

–Gym, Westchester Ave

Thug to homies: Yo, we need to take a pic in case the world ends tomorrow.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Robert

Too-cool-for-school coworker: You don't know how to use your scanner?! Shhiiiit, fool! I can teach you that! I taught myself how to use Google Calendar today. I have a Master's in photography.

–NYU

Overheard by: mm

Man on cell: Hi! Oh my gosh, I just got some great pictures of a plane that crashed into the river!

–Hudson River Park

20-something girl on phone with friend: Will you grab my camera from the apartment for me before you come out tonight? (pause) Thanks, I need it to take pictures of my conquests.(pause) All men should fear us.

–Brooklyn

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Death, Fears, Friends, Girls, Google, Gyms, Insults, Men, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Stupidity, Threats, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Up Shit's Creek

Three-year-old boy, refusing to get in stroller: Shit! Shit! Shit, mommy! Shit!

–Chelsea Market

Overheard by: Sarah

Young boy, yelling after hearing Jesus freaks preach: What a bunch of shit that is!

–7th Ave & 33rd St

Overheard by: Colleen

Hobo drinking Red Bull: This is Red Bull shit!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: RevolutionSuzi

30-something lady on cell: I'm gonna be shitting my brains out later.

–Astoria

Seasoned-looking guy, watching hobo pee in the middle of a subway car: I ain't never seen that shit before. That shit is brand new!

–4 Train

Overheard by: i will be traumatized forever

Menacing black woman on phone: I'mma go home and shit on my girlfriend's China.

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Penelope

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Drinks, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hobos, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Kids, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pee, Penn Station, Poop, Religion, Should've Used a Condom, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Texas: 1 New York City: 2,930,987

Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore!

–Midtown

Overheard by: SH

Posted on March 24, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Only in New York, Street, Women

The Who Boys?

Young black woman #1: So I had to go to concerts and promote other concerts.
Young black woman #2: What concerts?
Young black woman #1: People you never heard of. Brian Wilson. He used to be with The Beach Boys.

–A Train

Posted on March 23, 2009
Black People, Movies, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Women

That Red Ribbon on Her Collar Is Just Style

Woman #1 (after long phone conversation): Oh, I love that woman.
Woman #2: So no Aids?
Woman #1 (after pause): No, of course my cat doesn't have Aids, how could she have Aids?
Woman #2: No, of course she's just a stressed out cat!

–Mamouns

Posted on March 23, 2009
AIDS, Gay Man's Best Friend, Love, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

In a World Without Wiki…

Middle aged drunk woman: Excuse me sir, do you know what nasal douching is?
Random 20-something guy: Uh, I think it's when you stick your nose up in there and blow it out or something.

–Grand Central

Posted on March 22, 2009
Body Parts, Drunks, Grand Central, Medicine, Men, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Women