Words

Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.

–Hunter College High School

Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.

–J2 Deli, W 18th St

Overheard by: nick m

Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".

–Yankees Stadium

Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.

–Washington Square Park

Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.

–Park Avenue

Overheard by: Looking for an apartment

Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: Corey

Trendy girl: I mean, I like her as a person, I just don’t like what she does with my hair.

–Max, Ave. B

Guy on cell: Listen man, he’s Trump. We can put his name on anything and they’ll buy it. Put his fucking face on a fucking bottle of water and they’ll fucking buy it!

–28th St. and Park Avenue

Overheard by: G Varod

Woman on cell: There’s only one word for this party. And it is “epic.”

–CPW and 110th St.

Film student girl #1: How was it?
Film student girl #2: Dunno. He definitely shouted out “Hasselblad.”

–Bobst Library, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Foreigner, about hot chick passerby: I would like to date her.
Passerby: I think you mean rape her.

–558 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn

Ghetto girl: There is no I in ‘team.’
Ghetto boy: There is also no I in ‘gangbang.’

–Astoria

Overheard by: Erik

Cashier to woman buying sanitary napkins: Do you want these double-bagged?
Woman buying sanitary napkins: What's that supposed to mean?

–Pharmacy, Flatbush

Overheard by: taylor

Woman #1: Kate and I saw a snake walking down State Street yesterday!
Man: What?
Woman #2: Wait… walking?

–Central Park

Overheard by: A snake? Really?

JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.

–Spot’s Café

JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!

–Hunter College

Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.

–University & 12th

JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!

–17th & 6th

NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!

–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Maya G.

Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ponine

NYU chick #1: … And, y’know, some kind of adenine, guanine, trampoline chemical thingie.
NYU chick #2: Er. You mean ‘thymine’?
NYU chick #1: That’s what I said.

–Waverly & University

Girl #1: People used to tell me that they took “gullible” out of the dictionary ’cause it was an ancient slang term and didn’t have a language of origin.
Girl #2: Oh, so like “gullibleae”?

–6 train

Overheard by: David Stein