Drunk girl, seeing tree fallen on car after rainstorm: Officer, it was the wind!
Police officer: Good detective work.
Passerby: Case solved.
–3rd St & Ave A
Drunk girl, seeing tree fallen on car after rainstorm: Officer, it was the wind!
Police officer: Good detective work.
Passerby: Case solved.
–3rd St & Ave A
Girl on cell: And you're leaving with a butthole the size of a pancake your mom cooked! (pause) You don't want that.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: Gaunt
Ghetto fabulous teen boy: So I said, "What? Did you say you wanna fuck my motha'? Well I'm gonna fuck yo brotha!"
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Fiona
Woman outside store to a child speaking to her mother: What do you mean you don't like her? That's your mother, man!
–125th & Park Ave
Woman on phone: Hello? Yeah, how are you? (pause) So I didn't really deal with my mother's death because I wasn't sober then.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Laura
Man: Speaking of mother's graves, I want my urn back.
–13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Bro #1: I mean, smoking weed totally stunted my emotional growth.
Bro #2: I completely know what you mean.
–8th St & Ave C
Overheard by: mona risa
College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…
–NYU Dorm
(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?
–Ave B & 7th St
Overheard by: friend of the mole people
Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.
–Staten Island
Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.
–Houston & Mulberry
Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!
–45th & 10th
Overheard by: Drunk
Girl: So I was curious…
Boyfriend: Wait, aren't you bi-curious?
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.
–Ave A & St. Mark's
Ozzie #1, leaving bar: We should like, go to church tomorrow.
Ozzie #2: Like in Harlem?
Ozzie #1: Yes! Church there is awesome!
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: AgnosticLocal
Ditzy blonde #1: How was your night?
Ditzy blonde #2: It was good. I just saw a guy's face catch on fire!
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh!
Ditzy blonde #2: It was crazy cuz I had just, like, used that same lighter and then it like, burnt his eyebrows off.
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh!
Ditzy blonde #2: That's the third person I saw get burned in the face this week!
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh, no!.
(silence as they eat pizza for a minute)
Ditzy blonde #2: Speaking of which, do you know who else was burned in the face?
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Ashley
Random passerby to man whose bulldog is urinating in garbage bag: He's a good dog!
Dog owner: Yes, he is!
Random passerby: Be careful, though, he could kill you.
Dog owner: Oh, he totally could.
–11th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Nina
Man #1: What's with this girl Desriree?
Man #2: (pauses, thinking)
Man #1: Come on, it's a yes or no question!
–Club, Ave B
