Slavic guy to metro friend getting manicure: Hey, pay for mine too.
Metro friend: You want to get one?
Slavic guy, laughing and walking out: No!
–Fashion Nails, 13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Slavic guy to metro friend getting manicure: Hey, pay for mine too.
Metro friend: You want to get one?
Slavic guy, laughing and walking out: No!
–Fashion Nails, 13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: joy
Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!
–16th St & 7th Ave
Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.
–Brooklyn
Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Diaz
Girl #1: Oh my god! I love, like, a good avocado. Like a really flavorful, ripe, good avocado. When they're, like, really good for you.
Girl #2: Yeah, and olives.
Girl #1: Oh my god. Olives.
–Alphabet City
Cropped girl #1: Why doesn’t Dawn have any other friends?
Cropped girl #2: Would you hang out with her?
Long-haired girl: Yes. She has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #1: Well, you are easier than other people.
Cropped girl #2: This is why she is our friend.
Long-haired girl: But neither of you has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #2: But I did when you first met me.
Long-haired girl: And that has held over.
–13th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Lola
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!
–L Train
Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!
–Deli
Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…
30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!
–Ave B & 3rd St
Overheard by: Mike
Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.
–Astoria
Overheard by: David
40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir.
–12th St & Ave B
Overheard by: John
Guy #1: So we broke up, but it wasn't like she broke up with me because I was ugly or boring or terrible in bed or something, she just said she wasn't ready for a commitment.
Guy #2: Dude, of course that's why she broke up with you!
–6th St & Ave A
Man on street #1: Yeah, so when I called her…wait, where are you going?
Man on street #2: I'm just going to walk over here into this shadow and pour myself a beer…don't stop talking, I'm still listening!
–11th St & Ave B
Overheard by: Virginia
Half-asleep hobo, in garbled voice: Can ya help me out, man…?
Passing student #1: What did he say?
Passing student #2: I dunno. If you're gonna beg you should at least enunciate!
–7th St & Ave B
