Girl #1: Hi!
Girl #2: I'm sorry I couldn't make your party. I was at Jiddy's birthday in Bryant Park.
Girl #1: It's okay.
Girl #2: How are you?
Girl #1: I've had a hell of a week. My dog's in the hospital.
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one that's alive.
–L Train
Thug #1 to old man asking for directions: Ask my man here, he the boy from Queens.
Thug #2: That ain't my fault, nigga! That's just where my momma happened to have me!
–A Train
Overheard by: Jesse
Teenager #1: I said “my fault.”
Teenager #2: You said “my bad”? “My bad” is not “I'm sorry”!
–Penn Station
Headline by: Ty
Runners-Up:
· “Actually, “My Bad” Is Like the Hawaiian “Aloha” …” – erkala
· “And That’s How Grammy and Grampy Made Me, Kids” – Kam
· “The Bush Twins Learned Early From Their Father….” – Lani Waters
· “The Fact That a Teenager Apologized Should Be Enough” – shenanigans
· “Yeah, Judas!” – mk
Hipster guy: So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Girl: I don't think so.
Hipster guy: Cool. I'll get you the address for the place my band is playing at. We can hang afterwards.
Girl: Awesome!
Girl's mom, to hipster: Don't bother. She's 17. And you're a pedophile.
Hipster guy: Oh. Right. Sorry. (leaves)
Girl: Goddamn it, mom! You're such a fucking cockblock!
–Jules Jazz Bar
Overheard by: Millie
Man: Sorry about yesterday. I got a little carried away.
Woman: That's okay. It was just the man in you.
Man: Yeah. A couple more minutes, and it would have been the man in you!
–23rd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Marty
Professor to couple making out during lecture: Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?
Guy: Oh sorry, one of our friends bet us 50 bucks we wouldn't make out during a lecture.
Guy in front of him to his girlfriend: We have got to get in on that!
–Fordham University
Fat naked guy on cell in NYSC locker room: I'm just leaving the bank now.
–New York Sports Club
Girl on cell: Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, yeah, it's really early here. Yeah, it's about two in the morning. Yeah, the Eiffel tower was beautiful. Yeah, right to the top. And then we had crepes, yeah.
–Columbia University
Guy at urinal: I'm walking toward baggage claim, where are you?
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Next urinal
Tweenybopper on phone: Hey, Xander? We're at my house. My mom says you and Corey can't come over. Sorry!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Grumpy old man, walking alone, on cell: I can't! I've got my grandson with me!
(pause) Bitch, why would I lie to you? (pause) Okay, love you too.
–Harlem
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: What do you mean where was I last night?! Are you out of your damn mind? I took an Ambien and passed out at 9 pm! (pause) Yeah, you should be sorry, you asshole. I'll let you make it up to me with a new iPod for Christmas. (pause) No, the blue one! Ugh. I have to go back to work, but there better be an apology e-mail waiting at my desk.
Shocked coworker: Lindsey, you were dancing with me on tables until 4 am!
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Obvious! But I can't tell my boyfriend that. Then he will definitely know I hooked up with that gorgeous Australian.
Shocked coworker: Wow. That's impressive.
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Oh, please. That's nothing. Wait till the Monday inquisition, when I'll have to step it up to an iPhone!
–Starbucks
Old man to passing girl: Boo!
(girlfriend shrieks, old man lets out an evil, villain laugh. Girl and her boyfriend walk away quickly, boyfriend chuckling)
Old man, looking back at them as they walk away: Hahahaha! No, no wait! Wait, I'm sorry! I'm sorrryyy!
–77th St & Broadway
Salesperson, after seeing Jewish last name on credit card: Sorry about all that craziness in Israel!
Jew: It's okay. We're used to it.
–Houston & Varick
